Yesterday’s Star Column

A bit late this week, but don’t miss out on Osborne and his PPS Sajid Javid, Lembit, Awkward Ed, Jonah Izzard, Gordon and much more in yesterday’s column.

Guido is now a seven day operation so don’t miss us on a Sunday, only in the Daily Star Sunday

Yesterday’s jam packed column is here

SpAd Who’s Who

Guido is enjoying BBC reporter Giles Dilnot’s favourite new game, which is basically pointing a camera behind the cameras. Ever wondered what some blog favourites looked like?

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Has anyone else noticed Balls SpAd Alex Belardinelli is actually morphing into his boss?

Last Order Orders

The Sundays were full of promises and a pledge of a review into how to stop MPs boozing in the Commons.

This should surely be a no-brainer for the Speaker: scrap the £5.8m subsidy. Guido feels this one is beginning to get some traction.

They could call it the Joyce Review…

An anonymous Labour staffer writes:

“…in budget week, Labour has two choices. They can continue their failed economic policies that would make Britain uncompetitive and a bad place to do business. Or they can accept the new economic reality of less spending…”

Young Campaign Rally Star Calls on Ken to Pay Taxes

Taking time out from photoshopping a fake campaign bus, Ken’s team have been whipping up support for tonight’s “eve of campaign rally” near Waterloo Station. Supporters have been lured in on the promise of speeches from the likes of election-jonah Eddie Izzard, Tessa Jowell and lefty wunderkid Owen Jones. Whoops…

Presumably the Ken team spent at least thirty seconds checking out what these speakers have had to say about Ken before they were invited to share at platform, and presumably Owen Jones is going to be repeating tonight his call for Ken to release his tax returns as he suggested on Sky News last week. Or is he a Chic-Ken?

Incase you missed that Owen says:

“People should always pay their taxes, there’s absolutely no excuse whatsoever for tax loopholes, tax avoidance and that goes for Ken Livingstone, it goes for Boris Johnson and it goes for anyone else… I think all mayoral candidates, I think that would be perfectly good, perfectly positive, if they release their tax returns… I’ve made it clear there is absolutely no excuse whatsoever.”

Chic-Ken is still refusing to do that…

There was one tiny silver lining for Ken though – when pushed Owen says that despite being a hypocrite, the tax mess does not rule Ken out of the race.

Hopefully Owen will have honed that line in time for the rally tonight…

Mehdi’s Muddle on Iran’s ‘Bombastic’ President

Followers on Twitter will have enjoyed many, many Twitterspats between Guido and the New Statesman’s Mehdi Hasan. They follow a familiar pattern with Mehdi usually citing someone who wrote something in the New York Times once and then calling Guido stupid for disagreeing. He’ll often write an article that no one reads in the Staggers “proving” his point.  

Last week he wrote a 1000 word response to a tweet Guido did about bombing Iran’s nuclear programme. Normally Guido can’t be bothered to respond in kind at length. This time an article in response is up on The Commentator.

A Full Time Job In Westminster

Parliament’s in-house gym is advertising the services of a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Life Coach:

Hello

My name is Danielle Henderson and I am the new Clinical Hypnotherapist / Life Coach at Westminster Gym. I am here to help and support with the following issues:

StressTrauma, Phobia’sWeight LossStop SmokingFear of Public SpeakingRelationship IssuesSporting PerformanceHealthy Eating.

Sometimes spending an hour a week to off load with a Life Coach is hugely beneficial for mental and emotional well being. You can book yourself straight into the diary at Westminster Gym by calling the reception. I am available Monday and Tuesday mornings from 9.30 – 12.30 for pre-booked appointments.

I look forward to meeting and assisting you.

Kind regards

Danielle Henderson NLP Prac. C.H. Dip

With the assorted bunch of miscreants, drunks and reprobates that make up the green benches, Guido imagines that Ms. Henderson will be rather busy. He’s not sure Westminster is really the place to make much money out of “Fear of Public Speaking” though…

The Guardian – The Whole Picture

The Guardian are reporting the horrendous details emerging from Toulouse, where a gunman has opened fire outside a Jewish school:

“At least three people, including two children, have died after a man on a motorcycle opened fire outside a Jewish school in the French city of Toulouse on Monday morning. One witness indicated that a gunman opened fire outside the Ozar Hatorah school in the southern French city before fleeing on the back of a black scooter.”

Guido is never normally one to score cheap points, but let him remind you of what the Guardian said back in January. With tasteful timing on Holocaust Memorial Day, the paper gave Michael Gove a savaging for giving public money to a group that they did not like – the Community Security Trust.

The CST provide security guards for Jewish schools…

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

20120318-232934.jpg[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

The FT’s Wolfgang Munchau on the “fake maths” of economic forecasts:

“The truth is that our ability to forecast the future beyond the current quarter is limited… The curse of our time is fake maths. Think of it as fake news for numerically literate intellectuals: it is the abuse of statistics and economic models to peddle one’s own political prejudice… The fakeness of the maths lies in an exaggerated inference. Economic models have their uses, as do opinion polls. They provide information to policymakers and markets. But nobody can see through the fog of the future.”

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