Baldwin’s Nose Worries

Ed tried the old Cameron trick of no notes and no podium for his manufacturing speech today. Opening with some cracks about where he came in the Sky News totty trumps rankings, he tried to pretend he didn’t mind jibes about his looks. It would have worked better if he hadn’t been sporting yet another variation on his seemingly un-controllable pillow-hair. Geeky Ed is dressing a lot better these days. He has a range of TM Lewin suits for ordinary days and an Ozwald Boateng whistle for high days and holidays. However there is one recurring problem…

It’s not just the usual car-crash radio call-in today that is worries Labour insiders, Guido hears that Tom Baldwin is worried about two things; being marginalised by the new Chief-of-Staff Tim Livesey and secondly, Ed’s nose. He’s said to have raised the fact that things have got worse since his operation last summer, both in look and nasal twang. Baldwin even went as far as to suggest cosmetic surgery, something Ed rejected indignantly. The recent Party Political Broadcast voiced-over by Ed sounded like he was speaking underwater…




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Boris Johnson was shown a trophy monkey head as he toured a room of illegally-poached animals seized by Scotland Yard. He said:

“What’s this poor chap here? Faint air of a … Labour backbencher.”

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