The Right Honourable Member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath has finally woken up to the fact there is a crisis in his constituency and it might be an idea for him to actually do the job he is paid for. Guido brought you the news a month ago that part of Gordon’s Fife constituency contained radioactive material. Now with a lack of action, not least from the local MP, the beach could be designated the UK’s first stretch of Radioactive Contaminated Land. Finally today Gordon managed to haul himself in front of a camera.

So what has he been doing instead of representing his constituency? Well:

• £48,166.00 for a speech to Visa International.
• £36,639.66 for a speech to Credit Suisse in Miami, Florida.
• £36,018.18 for a speech to Comtec Med in Geneva, Switzerland.
• £35,873.94 for a speech to World 50, Inc in New York.
• £36,174.63 for a speech to PIMCO in Newport Beach, California.
• £36,174.63 for a speech to Economic Club of Michigan.
• £36,146.29 for a speech to Skybridge Capital in Las Vegas.
• £36,292.84 for a speech to Citi Latin America in New York.
• £36,224.88 for a speech to Pershing LLC in Miami.

It must be a little painful for the former Prime Mentalist that Blair can command the combined total of that for a hour of his time, but do you know what hurts more Gordon? Radiation poisoning…