Despite hosting their conference in a former European Capital of Culture, this is the most imaginative thing that Labour can come up with for a conference party in Liverpool:

“We’re going to showcase all that’s best about our great city, and give people a night they’ll never forget! We’ll have a Beatles tribute band performing, we’ll serve scouse pie, we’ll be giving away some of the best scouse competition prizes Liverpool has to offer, and even have a special scouse karaoke room, complete with Beatles wigs!”

Guido is looking forward to Luciana Berger’s rendition of Ferry Across the Mersey…