Young Conservatives Sex Act Picture Sensation

The Young Britons’ Foundation will be launching this poster campaign at Tory conference. Something tells Guido that the Chancellor might be able to relate to this one:

Maybe they are “wet” after all…

You can download a high-res version for your own amusement here.

Indy's Independence Whacked

Have you noticed anything different about the Indy in the last couple of days?

Well it seems that the paper has finally conceded that it is politically biased and susceptible to proprietorial influence. Given Evgeny Lebedev “speaks regularly” to the editor Chris Blackhurst, it was only a matter of time before the paper would have to quietly drop their lofty pretensions…

UPDATE: Co-conspirators point out that the change coincided with the arrival of Chris Blackhurst in the editor’s chair.

Friday Caption Contest (Three Tits Edition)

Ken Living-Stone Baked

Thanks to those nice people at Pizza Express, today’s blogging is fuelled by their Boris and Ken specials. You can pledge your allegiance in London Pizza Expresses from the 3rd – 17th:

We literally eat politicians for lunch…

Follow Friday FoI

Paul Waugh has confirmed that a locked and hidden Twitter account is in fact that of the Downing Street Director of Communications:

Given that Craig Oliver is using his job title and place of work in his Twitter name, Guido feels we have a right to know what he’s pushing. As well as being nosy…

Nick Boles a Wide Ball

Nick Boles has taken to the pages of the Telegraph to give a not-so-coded warning that Tory MPs should behave themselves at their conference and not to rock the boat:

” …what we need now is to put away our favourite ideological hobby horses, ignore the political positioning of the other parties…”

Heaven forbid that a newbie MP might dare utter something vaguely ideological to the party faithful. Even worse they might try to tackle an issue close to the heart of their party in a pamphlet. It’s probably best not to mention that this time last year “Enoch” Boles was being praised for the “radical approach to immigration” set out in his pre-conference book “Which Way is Up“ then. What a difference a year makes though, eh Nick?

Early Bird Top Tory Fringe Events

Courtesy of the FringeList.com service, based on users who have downloaded the free App or registered to receive free SMS text message reminders to attend events, we bring you the top 10 most popular fringe events:

#1 Winning Campaigns

#2 How The Conservatives Can Win The Next Election

#3 Cameron’s Candidates? Primaries, the A-list and the way forward

#4 The Official Conference Tweet-up

#5 Midnight Reception

#6 Beers of Europe

#7 The Andrew Neil Interview

#8 Class of 2010 – The Future of the Conservative Party

#9 Smarter Leaner, Better: The future of local public services

#10  Stand Up For Liberty! Drinks Reception

Go to My.Fringelist.com and register for event reminders. Handily the App works even when you are in the conference zone and can’t get a phone signal. You can even find out which fringe events Guido and Neo-Guido will be attending here and here. If you were that way inclined you could search for which events have have free booze at the click of a button, technology is a wonderful thing…

Yes Campaign Attempts to Rewrite History

John Denham, Labour’s anti-Business Secretary, told an electoral reform fringe meeting yesterday that the:

“Lib Dems were totally kippered in Yes campaign by thinking ‘We mustn’t do anything to upset the Tories…'”

N02AV veterans have barely been able to keep a straight face at this one, especially given that Chris Huhne was sitting on the very same panel. What was it about Huhne calling other members of the Cabinet Nazis that suggested he was reining in his behaviour?

Boris on Cameron the Chump

The hand of the FT’s Christopher Cook can once again be felt in story that the Tories will find rather unhelpful. The disgruntled former Tory adviser has lifted the lid on life working next to Boris’s old parliamentary office. Paul Waugh has got hold of extracts of Cook speaking to Sonia Purnell for a her new “Just Boris” biography:

“Boris and I got on because we have similar dislike of most members of the Conservative party,’ explains Chris Cook – one of David Willetts’ aides, also based in the annexe room. ‘He’s clearly not on the right wing, but actually quite Europhile in Tory terms. He liked to come into our office to gossip and bitch about the right-wingers, particularly Liam Fox, or indeed anyone else he thought had screwed up the party that week.”

Then, coincidently, there are some rather more colourful descriptions of what Boris used to moot as ideas for his Telegraph column. In 2006 he suggested opening one with:

‘One thing that has become apparent to me in my years of Parliamentary service is that David Cameron is a complete c**t’.

Vero nihil verius!

Exclusive: Murdoch Pulps Gulp Porno Times

In what is being described as an unnecessary blow 100,000 first editions of The Times were pulped this morning. An article by Janice Turner about the porn industry was accidentally illustrated with a photo of a nubile woman performing a sex act on a man. This was not a competitive response to Richard Desmond’s successful grab for the News of the World’s readers. Though it could have helped with the million-quid-a -week losses at The Times…

Inside sources say it was only in the first edition and none were sent out. Which kind of sucks…

Welcome to the Centre Ground

Having spent every hour since his speech trying to convince us that he’s not lurching to the left, Ed didn’t look too happy singing the Red Flag this year:

What happened to the Welsh totty from last year? The whole thing was horrendously off-key. Surely a metaphor there…

Video via Liar Politicians

Harman: Labour Voters Are Too Thick to Fill in a Form

Along with suggesting that removing their inbuilt 5-7% point advantage is “gerrymandering”, Labour are making a lot of noise about new changes that will mean individuals have to register to vote rather than the head of the household doing it for everyone that lives in a property. Harman is frothing at the mouth and will close conference by saying:

“The Tories are hoping if they take away the right to vote from students, young people living in rented flats in our cities, people from ethnic minority communities… if fewer of them can vote it will help the Tories win.”

It’s times like this that the darker side of Labour’s patronising statism and attitude towards the individual really shines through. Basically Harman saying that Labour voters are too thick to fill out a form. If that is the deputy leaders attitude toward to the public, then she doesn’t deserve to represent them. Given some of their strongholds, you might wonder why Labour are really so keen to keep the head of the household filling out the form…

Watch: Ed's Scottish Gaffe

After spending his entire conference failing to convince us that he’s not a weirdo, Ed has finally had a human moment – he was unable to remember the names of the three candidates grudgingly running for leader of the Scottish Labour Party:

“Ed speaks human!” As the campaign briefing went last summer…

Blackhurst Off the Irony Scale

As ironic statements go, Indy editor Chris Blackhurst’s yesterday is surely worthy of a prize. Discussing regulation on Radio 4’s Media Show he came out in support of Ivan Lewiski’s state register of journalist.

With a straight face he said the public saw:

“journalists behaving badly and nothing happening to them… frankly, maybe we should look at striking off errant journalists.”

Applicable to anyone not called Johann…

The Star responds to Ed’s attacks on Big Brother:

“If he is really worried about a bunch of freaks being paraded on telly, he should sort his party out!”

Business Predators, Producers and Prattlers

It is the end of the month and the end of a quarter. Britain’s over-taxed small business owners will be worrying about cash-flow. Is there enough cash to make payroll at the end of the month? Will the bank extend the overdraft? Can they find the money for the quarterly VAT bill? Small businesses are the canaries of the economy, the job creators, fast to grow, fast to shrink.

Ed Miliband knows nothing about this, he has never had those worries, profiteering is not a good word for him, it is bad, despite profits bringing jobs and profits paying taxes to support the unproductive. He sits at the top of the table in a shadow cabinet that has not one member who has started or owned a for-profit business. That inexperience is why he prattles on incoherently about business predators.

UPDATE: Exception that proves the rule and it was a government supplier:

Flogs software to the public sector…

Newsnight: Oborne Calls Guilty Men "Idiots" Eurocrat Storms Off, Ex-FT Editor CBI Director Lambert Livid

Sir Richard Lambert, was not amused, demanding “do we have to go on with this rubbish Jeremy” when Peter Oborne threw his  Guilty Men pamphlet at him across the table with the words “you’re in it, read it”. At the same time a eurocrat version of Comical Ali who had been praising the euro stormed out of the Brussels studio on air after being repeatedly called an idiot by Oborne – at one point even Paxman referred to him as “Mr Idiot in Brussels”. It was an ode to joy…

#AskEdM III – Conference Special

It seems our Ed is a glutton for punishment. He’s doing yet another Ask Ed event at 5.30 on Twitter. As ever Guido is making it easy for you to take part, all you have to do is click the box above and you are away. After his conference speech crashed and burned, the rumour doing the rounds is that he wrote it himself – hence why it was so terrible.

Click and ask him to explain…

Two Cokeheads

In the wake of Smeargate Gordon Brown said that there was “no place in politics” for the likes of Damian McBride and Derek Draper. They were rightly cast out of the fold. However as Guido has been reporting, Dolly’s slow political rehabilitation has begun. He was strutting round conference, head held high, pouring the champagne and pressing the flesh as if he hadn’t triggered one of the darkest moments in the Labour Party’s history. It wasn’t just activists and lefty bloggers willing to turn a blind eye, and in some cases greet him with open arms, look who was he was spotted hobnobbing with:

Yes that’s right, Miliband’s most senior adviser Tom Baldwin was happily chatting away with Dolly. The above picture was grabbed during Ed Miliband’s speech. We all know what happened last time Dolly got chatting with a Labour spindoctor…

Guido was greatly amused to be semi-threatened by a tanked up James Macintyre in the conference bar. Apparently Make-it-up-Macintyre was “surprised in the current climate” that we would be regurgitating those emails between him and Draper. What’s he going to do, get us sacked?

Reshuffle Rumours, Runners and Riders McKechin, Hillier and Flint in Trouble

The one good thing Ed has got out of this conference is an end to the Shadow Cabinet elections. He can now clear out the rot and he has more than his fair share of underwhelming baggage. Hilary Benn, Meg Hillier, the Eagles, Caroline Flint, Ann McKechin and Ivan Lewis are all names being bandied around for the chop…

On Monday’s Newsnight Prezza accused many of the Shadow Cabinet of not pulling their weight in the planning row, explicitly suggesting that a reshuffle is required after it was left to the National Trust and charities to fight the government.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Michael Crick on Safe Seats:

“In effect, new MPs are being elected day by day now, as, amid huge secrecy, small cabals of party bigwigs pick candidates for safe seats.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Leader of Anti-UKIP Protest Embroiled in SWP Rape Scandal Leader of Anti-UKIP Protest Embroiled in SWP Rape Scandal
Hollobone Agrees Tory-UKIP Pact Hollobone Agrees Tory-UKIP Pact
David Mackintosh Quits David Mackintosh Quits
Happy Ed Balls Day Happy Ed Balls Day
Campaign Report: 42 Days To Go Campaign Report: 42 Days To Go
Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special
Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go
Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch
Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward
‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party ‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party
More Selection Shenanigans More Selection Shenanigans
Bouattia Ousted Bouattia Ousted
David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron
Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll
Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today
Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter
Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier
Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now
Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down? Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down?
Banks Bottles It Banks Bottles It