Black Rod Clamps Down on Boozed-Up Bag Carriers

The Sports and Social Club on the parliamentary estate didn’t earn it’s nickname the Sports and Socialist for nothing. A regular haunt for Labour types, things have got out of hand in the past, but it has been particularly rowdy in recent weeks. One of the bar staff told Guido on Friday:

“Everyone’s noticed that the atmosphere in here has turned very nasty, especially on Thursdays and Fridays. The Labour kids are inviting down all their friends who are very young and get very drunk. The place is being treated like a Students’ Union Bar and things have to change. Black Rod is considering banning guests, he’s really unhappy.”


Tory bagcarriers who also use the bar for a cheap pint aren’t very happy either:

“A plea to Labour researchers, can you please stop inviting dozens of your friends down to get drunk and shout abuse at people. There are fights in there every week now. Its a disgrace…”

The fisticuffs and low tolerance has led to one researcher being hauled into the Serjeant at Arms office, and Black Rod has decreed that pass-holders may only bring two guests on a Thursday and Friday. Guido has a better idea – why not scrap the taxpayer subsidy and put the prices up to match anywhere else in Central London, then see if people still flock there. 




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Quote of the Day

Philip Hammond uses a trip to Berlin to mock the Foreign Secretary:

“A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. Wise words with some applicability to the Brexit negotiations although I try to discourage talk of “cake” amongst my colleagues.”

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