Budget Day Winners and Losers

Winners:

  • Job providing corporations.
  • Internet Service Providers.
  • Business start-ups in northern cities.
  • Sheffield and the “Nick Clegg Memorial Enterprise Zone”.
  • Motorists.
  • Scientists.
  • Local councillors and their £100m to spend on potholes.
  • Charities – 10% death tax cut if money is given away.

Losers:

  • Smokers.
  • Private jet users.
  • Tax avoiders.
  • Councils and their frozen tax.
  • Nondoms.
  • Tree huggers – green belt planning permission up for auction.
  • Sleepy Ken Clarke.
  • George Osborne’s throat.
  • Whoever came up with last year’s growth figures.
  • Ed Miliband’s press team who sent the speech out before Red Ed had floundered through it with whole sections changed.



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Quote of the Day

Jeremy Corbyn on Big Ben Bong Ban

“… if we have to miss Big Ben in reality for a while so that work can be done, well, that’s something we have to go through. It’s not a national disaster or catastrophe.”

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