Totty Watch: The New Intake

It’s that time of year again when Sky News draw up their top ten lists of the most fanciable MPs. There have been some rather strange winners in the past, but with the amount of new talent floating about the Labour and Tory benches, the winner must be from the rather well turned out new intake.

By conducting sophisticated media monitoring and having polled the newsroom, Guido’s shortlist would have to include opposing blonde bombshells Stella Creasy and Nicola Blackwood, Liz Truss, metal loving Louise Bagshaw and TV’s Esther McVey. There is stiff competition from the brunettes Priti Patel, Luciana “Heir to Blair” Berger, Caroline “Shagger” Nokes as well as Scottish roses Alison McGovern and Pam “Baby of the House” Nash. And of course there is always Gloria.

Proving you really can get by with just a pretty face is Chuka Umanna. Ever seen Zac and Tristrum Hunt in the same room? Matt Hancock sets bag-carrier hearts a fluttering, apparently. For those ladies looking to add a little mystery to your romance try Rory “Double O” Stewart, Chris Kelly is a man in touch with his emotional side and if lanky is your thing, there’s always Jacob Rees Mogg.

Add your suggestions below for Guido’s poll tomorrow…


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Lewis Goodall opines

“Remainer readers may dislike Mr Farage – they may dislike his style, his rhetoric, his approach – but he cannot be faulted for his appreciation of strategy. If his opponents don’t up their game – and fast – he will beat them, just as he did before.”

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