Eric Illsley finally thought fit to quit the House of Commons last night, displacing that naughty Mrs Robinson as Steward of the Chiltern Hundreds. The disgraced member for Barnsley is getting sent down on Thursday after being found guilty of a £14,000 fiddle. Some might think he should have been thrown out of the House immediately, indeed 2,000 signed a petition demanding just that, but by staying on for these last 29 days the convicted thief has managed to trouser an extra £5,223 from the victims of his crimes.

Nearly half of what he had to pay back after his artistic accounting…