Guido has warned before that he is just like Santa, knowing who has been naughty or nice, but it turns out not all honourable Members were on their best behaviour in the run up to Christmas. It seems Labour’s replacement for Prezza in Hull, the uninspiring Karl Turner, is as ham-fisted and polite as his predecessor. On the morning train out-of-town on the Wednesday before Christmas Karl was in standard class, but thought he would help himself to a complimentary first class newspaper. Problems ensued when he was politely reminded not to steal by one of the train staff.

Witness reports say the usual “don’t you know who I am”… “no” routine was deployed when the train manager had to intervene and “a very unpleasant scene” prevailed which saw Turner “draw himself up to his full 5’6 ins and launched into a tirade of abuse against the man”. Not quite up there with punching a farmer…

The wobbler apparently continued on the platform after arrival at Hull station, with Turner claiming he wanted a written apology from the train company. “A self-satisfied, obnoxious, patronising bully who can afford a quid for The Times” was one of the more delicate descriptions of his behaviour. Karl is avoiding talking to Guido about the incident, he apparently doesn’t like to be bothered when travelling. He prefers to catch up on the news. Look out Hull Trains staff…