So much for the “austerity wedding” – any profit made from tourism and tea-towels is going to wiped out by the loss of a day’s trading on April 29th.

UPDATE: As one of Guido’s more sane and literate commenters points out:

“For a heck of a lot of businesses, Friday April 29 would normally have been the last business day of their financial year. What with Good Friday being the week before and the Easter Monday holiday on 25th April (as well as the holiday on Monday 2nd May), a lot of people will be trying to avoid working for the entire week after Easter. A lot of businesses are going to lose the whole of their last week’s trading for the financial year.”

Seems this was all planned rather well.

Further to Guido’s little delve into the MEP world this morning, breaking news from Brussels is that Martin Callanan has creamed the controversal Richard Ashworth who featured on the blog this morning. After the expenses milking and previous history of his opponent, it’s not hard to see how Callanan got over 50% in the first round.

Somehow Guido doubts Ashworth will be keeping the Agricultural brief, there is plenty more scandal on that front…

UPDATE: A high-ranking euro-co-conspiritor gets in touch “Your Ashworth stuff was widely discussed among MEPs before the vote and contributed to him falling from favourite to third-place also ran. As a result of this, the Conservatives over here have elected their first ever Eurosceptic leader.” We shall see about that last part, but always nice to hear from another happy reader.

On Friday Guido highlighted the fact that Tory MEP, and candidate for delegation leader, Richard Ashworth had been milking the EU gravy train by seemingly employing his wife, on a full-time salary close to thirty grand, for what was described as non-existent job. Talking of milking, and as the ballots go out this morning, Guido couldn’t help but chuckle when he read that:

“Richard is currently a member of the European Parliament’s Committee on Agriculture and is Conservative Spokesman in this area.”It gets better, according to the Tory website: “Richard’s life has heavily revolved around cows. He was a dairy farmer in East Sussex for over thirty years and during this time operated his own dairy business”

All true, but if Guido’s farming career had been anything like Ashworth’s he wouldn’t be boasting about it. How such a spectacular agri-disaster can represent British interests in Europe, where the UK’s farming industry is strangled and controlled from, is mind boggling. Way back in the Eighties it seems Ashworth wasn’t quite the agricultural expert he claims to be now, nor was his behaviour that expected of a leader. In 2001 his Sussex farming career came to an abrupt end:

“Richard Ashworth, the tenant farmer at Fairlight Place Farm, departed after legal action was threatened over the pollution of the Fairlight Glen he was repeatedly causing by allowing slurry to run-off from his intensive dairy farming. His negative approach to farming was condemned by many people, but councillors and council officers were reluctant to take action against him because of his prominence in the local establishment.”

Fairlight Place was Ashworth’s 11 bedroom manor that he was forced out of after trashing the surrounding farmland. He settled with Hastings Council in the year he was elected as a Conservative MEP. The Council paid Ashworth off only to avoid his farm waste polluting areas of special scientific interest, saving rare plants have survived from 5,000 years ago. In the end the council had to spend taxpayers’ money cleaning up the now MEP’s mess. His “prominence” managed to keep that one quiet though. 

Guido wonders what the EU Agriculture Committee would say about it all, let alone the farmers who Ashworth claims to stand up for in Europe.

David Miliband has made a return to the frontline of British politics – he’s back tweeting again. Guido had to feel a pang of sympathy when he read earlier that the prince across the water had proudly opened a supermarket in his constituency. How the mighty have fallen, from the Middle-East to Morrisons. However when Guido went to find a picture of this proud day, a big moment in the career of a backbencher, he uncovered a shocking truth:

“Crowds gathered at Morrisons in Ocean Road, South Shields, as Mayor Tom Pigott officially declared it open. The Mayor and Mayoress of South Tyneside, join Morrisons’s general store manager Gary Tiffany, left, and chief executive Dalton Phillips.”

Er, not one mention of the former Foreign Secretary? He isn’t in the photo and he certainly didn’t cut the ribbon. Guido isn’t quite sure how that constitutes “opening it” then? Has David Miliband actually stooped so low that he has to make up z-list celebrity appearances? As his close friend Hillary would put it, it appears he “misspoke”.

As Elliot Morley’s trial gets underway today, the MPs’ expenses bee will simply not leave the Westminster bonnet. ePolitix reports that IPSA are going to spend a million pounds releasing the MPs expense claims data, though there is some confusion over whether receipts will be included in that. While this undoubtedly a good move theoreatically, ironically it will happen on the same day, the 2nd December, that the future of the omnishambolic IPSA is debated in the House. Guido cannot get his head around why it’s going to cost such a staggering amount of money though? He is pretty sure he could do the job with a couple of scanners and some interns for half the price…

Given that this was meant to be Ed Miliband’s big relaunch day, back from nappy leave and hitting the ground running etc, he has been amazingly quiet. Invisible even.

After a “no huskies“ interview with The Guardian this morning there has been radio silence ever since and the lunchtime top of the hour news bulletins have barely even given him a nod. Admittedly the Irish bailout news is dominating, but it’s not as if Red Ed has even managed to secure the second headline slot – that’s gone to the high-heeled Grant Shapps and his council housing reforms.

Apparently Ed is addressing the PLP tonight with his plans for reforming the Labour Party, particularly with how to stop his own farcical technical victory from happening again. Given the slaughtering that Harman got at the last meeting after the sacking of Woolas, (that was coincidently followed up nicely with some interesting facts about her appearing in the press,) it can’t get any worse for the struggling leader. However Guido has to wonder what the point of doing the interview this morning was then? Why not wait until after the meeting (which traditionally happens on a Monday) to go all guns blazing into the press? Is Miliband set to go down the Gordon path of relaunch after tired relaunch?  Another stunning success for Miliband’s Press Manager Calamity Kenny…

It’s worth nothing that it was twenty years ago today that the Tories knifed Maggie. If Gordon had been a Tory leader he would have been out the door by Christmas after the election-that-never-happened. If Ed is really going to significantly modernise the Labour Party he better be careful to keep the rules that make it much harder to oust a Labour leader than a Tory or LibDem. Guido’s always happy to dispense helpful advice…