While much focus has been what the ousted Labour and Liberal lobby fodder is up to, spare a moment for the only two former Tory MPs who lost their should – be – safe seats. Predictably the sound of the revolving door is never far away…

After succumbing to the yellow onslaught in Eastbourne, Nigel Waterson, who after 18 years seemingly upset just about everyone who knew him, has been rescued by a fellow former Tory MP Chris Butler, of spin-merchants Butler Kelly. Guido hears Waterson has even manage to secure face time with the government Chief Whip on behalf of his new client, the old people’s collective, SAGA, trading on his former role as the Tory spokesman for elderly people. Well it’s not like he could get a job working with children…

No such undignified paper-chasing for David Heathcoat-Amory. The “Manure Member“ is instead trying to flog his redundant constituency home in Wells. After charging the taxpayer for the manuring of his garden, the grandee is set to make a handsome profit, with a £1.5m asking price, to fund his retirement back in Hammersmith. He might even be able to afford a SAGA holiday or two…