Top Tips From Troughing Lord Taylor

Lord  Taylor of Warwick is facing charges related to fiddling his second home expenses and mileage allowance. The CPS have decided that the prosecution is in the “public interest”. Humiliation of troughing politicians is always in the public interest.

In true Viz style he has kindly shared his top tips for leading a happy life with the world. Guido thinks the tips could be helped by a change of residence:

  1. Organic oatmeal as cleanser and gentle exfoliater; – Plenty of oatmeal porridge could soon be available
  2. Stretch to energise; Lie back with feet up during catnaps, to help blood circulation; – Long stretch possible
  3. Honey as a sweetener, never white sugar Add to porridge to taste
  4. Go to bed before midnight! (If anyone ever achieves this, please let me know!). – Lock down is 10 p.m. inside

A change of residence for the former barrister might be as good as a rest and help him overcome his locational amnesia. He doesn’t seem to know where he lives half the time…




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Boris Johnson was shown a trophy monkey head as he toured a room of illegally-poached animals seized by Scotland Yard. He said:

“What’s this poor chap here? Faint air of a … Labour backbencher.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
LISTEN: Labour MPs Knowingly Meet Foreign Spies Every Day LISTEN: Labour MPs Knowingly Meet Foreign Spies Every Day
BBC Website Finally Reports Corbyn Spy Story… And Attacks “Press Barons” BBC Website Finally Reports Corbyn Spy Story… And Attacks “Press Barons”
Tory ERG MPs Remind May of Her Commitment to Take Back Control of Laws and Trade Tory ERG MPs Remind May of Her Commitment to Take Back Control of Laws and Trade
Aaronovitch Talking S*it Aaronovitch Talking S*it
Live In Truth: Corbyn vs Havel Live In Truth: Corbyn vs Havel
Watson Now Opposes Airing Lurid Historic Claims Against MPs Watson Now Opposes Airing Lurid Historic Claims Against MPs
Green: I Wasn’t Inappropriate to Kate Maltby Green: I Wasn’t Inappropriate to Kate Maltby
Geoff Norcott Drives Corbynistas Crazy Geoff Norcott Drives Corbynistas Crazy
BuzzFeed Runners and Riders BuzzFeed Runners and Riders
BBC Still Ignoring Agent COB Story BBC Still Ignoring Agent COB Story
Moscow’s Man in Westminster Moscow’s Man in Westminster
Waterson New Guardian Media Editor Waterson New Guardian Media Editor
Tories Demand Agent COB Faces Foreign Affairs Select Committee Tories Demand Agent COB Faces Foreign Affairs Select Committee
Vaz Reported to National Crime Agency Over His Finances Vaz Reported to National Crime Agency Over His Finances
Bolton Sacked Bolton Sacked
Agent COB Was ‘Paid Informant’ Alleges Czech Spy Agent COB Was ‘Paid Informant’ Alleges Czech Spy
Sunday Show Highlights Sunday Show Highlights
No Facebook Engagement Drop Off Seen Here No Facebook Engagement Drop Off Seen Here
Adonis Tipped to Set Up Centrist Party and Be “British Macron” Adonis Tipped to Set Up Centrist Party and Be “British Macron”
Corbyn’s New Anti-Racism Campaign Star Sent N-Word, “Jew” and Hitler Tweets Corbyn’s New Anti-Racism Campaign Star Sent N-Word, “Jew” and Hitler Tweets