Ed Balls Campaign Diary*

Bollocks, bollocks, shit and bollocks.  The mobile rang at 6 a.m. this morning and woke me up. I was hoping for the sweet, sultry Anglo-Français soothing vowels of Ellie, instead a jarring voice from the past made my blood freeze.  “Hellooo, aahhm back in Westminster, ahh see you ahh struggling a bit. I’m going to help with your campaign. Meet me in Portcullis House at 11.00 a.m.” Shit, shit, shit. Shit. The last thing I need is Gordon “helping” with the campaign. Noooooooooooo!

(*As leaked to Guido)


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Quote of the Day

Expelled Tory MP, Richard Benyon, on the short three-day Programme Motion for the Withdrawal Agreement Bill:

“Whether you had three days, three weeks or three months debating this, you would not hear one original argument that we hadn’t otherwise heard in this process…”

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