Where's Gordon?™ Obsessing about the World Cup Apparently

Once upon a time there was a man who claimed he woke up every day to “fight for a fairer Britain”. Britain may have said no, but he was returned overwhelmingly by one small part of it to represent and fight for them for the next five years. But this man is refusing to represent them and has now gone missing. Finally we learn he has abandoned his responsibilities and is sticking two fingers up at representative democracy to instead obsessively watch every single World Cup match on telly. While he rocks back and forward in his underwear, ticking off the games on his  free Daily Mirror World Cup pull-out wallchart, the taxpayer is picking up the tab.

Gordon was quick to head down to Parliament to sign on for his cheques, so that for an hour and a half of football he is set to make around £45+ per match, or just over £3000 for the sixty-four game tournament. Find Guido any sports fan who wouldn’t love to be paid to sit around watching football. Thousands would have gone to the World Cup if it wasn’t for the cost and yet the taxes that deprived them of the trip are paying for Gordon to watch. Where’s the “fairer Britain” there?

If Gordon Brown needs time to reflect, plot revenge, write his book, find himself, detox, or whatever it is he is doing all alone in Scotland – fine – he should not expect to be paid for the pleasure by the taxpayer. There are 93,272 constituents in Kirkcaldy who are completely disenfranchised from the political system while their elected representative broods in a darkened room. Brown needs to make a decision – walk into the sunset and break completely from the House of Commons, or engage in the job he was elected to carry out and is paid to do. Guido is one of those inclined to say Brown is bonkers, but while this situation is allowed to continue the taxpayer is being taken for a fool. It is time to blow the final whistle on Gordon’s sulky withdrawal from parliament. He should either resign or “get on with the job”…

*Fag-packet maths: 252 working days a year. 9 till 5 = 8 hours per day = 2016 hours per year. £64k divided hourly = £32 per hour = £48 per game. And that doesn’t include expenses.



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Dominic Cummings tells Damian Collins:

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