Ed Balls Campaign Diary*

I’m still chuckling about those lines we put in Yvette’s article about why she “chose” not to stand. “We share stuff – including taking the kids to school. And he does all the cooking, shopping and sorting out the daily chaos of the house.” Gah. Despite her nagging, sometimes that girl can pull it off when she has to. Brilliant stuff. No mention of the nanny.

Nicola said we had to have a weekend like “normal people“. Most people I know wouldn’t consider a weekend in a caravan in the Lake District “normal”. It pissed down with rain and all I had was Eurovision to fill in the gaps between my anti-blinking exercises. Managed to read some of Campbell’s new diaries though, can’t believe that tosser had the audacity to suggest I “drivelled on endlessly“. What a bloody cheek? Drivel on endlessly? He should take a cold hard look at his last novel.

Campbell’s dig was no accident of timing, the continuity-Blarites are really getting on my nerves. Circling  like flies around the Miliband turd, everyone knows that the only “community organising” James Purnell is doing is as the covert campaign manager for David.  Purnell’s fluffer Sophie Sutcliffe is even on the staff. Seems I’m not the only one who has to rely on former MPs to be their campaign manager.

Beginning to miss the ministerial flunkies, had a bit of an embarrassment getting lost before an interview.

I’m safely nominated unlike that little girl Burnham, but the last thing we need is another candidate in the race. Some little freshman newbie has thrown his hat in the ring. I don’t know whether he will get the nominations but this Garner bloke already has a decent website. And videos. And he’s funnier on the Twitter. Where the hell is my website?  Watson promised to get it sorted, now it’s getting embarrassing.

*As leaked to Guido



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Jo Swinson on Chris Rennard…

“Vince — and Tim before him — have repeatedly, publicly said Rennard is not welcome anywhere near their frontbench team, even as an adviser. I remain deeply frustrated that he was not expelled from the party through its disciplinary process. It just feels wrong, and I do not want Lord Rennard to continue as a member of the party. As far as I am concerned, he is not welcome.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Siemens to Cut European Jobs, Expand in UK Siemens to Cut European Jobs, Expand in UK
WATCH: DD Meets Cliff Edge WATCH: DD Meets Cliff Edge
Momentum Plot to Treble Council Tax For 15,000 Households in Bristol Momentum Plot to Treble Council Tax For 15,000 Households in Bristol
75% of European Medicines Agency Staff Want to Stay in London 75% of European Medicines Agency Staff Want to Stay in London
Newsnight’s Royal Farce Newsnight’s Royal Farce
MPs’ Security Costs Rise 1395% MPs’ Security Costs Rise 1395%
Just 12% of MPs Vote to Stay in Customs Union Just 12% of MPs Vote to Stay in Customs Union
WATCH Scottish Labour Leader: “I Support England” WATCH Scottish Labour Leader: “I Support England”
Majority Think Work Porn “Career Ending” Majority Think Work Porn “Career Ending”
Paperchase Faces Backlash After Bowing to Anti-Press Freedom Cranks Paperchase Faces Backlash After Bowing to Anti-Press Freedom Cranks
WATCH: Moment Stephen Kinnock Realises Corbyn Is Staying WATCH: Moment Stephen Kinnock Realises Corbyn Is Staying
New Scottish Labour Leader’s Old Boys’ Black Tie Dinner New Scottish Labour Leader’s Old Boys’ Black Tie Dinner
Labour Outsources Flashy New Website to Bernie’s US Consultants Labour Outsources Flashy New Website to Bernie’s US Consultants
Unilever’s Remain Ultra CEO Threatens to Drop London Listing Unilever’s Remain Ultra CEO Threatens to Drop London Listing
Hammond Re-Announces Existing Tory Housing Policy Hammond Re-Announces Existing Tory Housing Policy
Stanley Early Favourite to Win I’m A Celeb Stanley Early Favourite to Win I’m A Celeb
Sunday Show Highlights Sunday Show Highlights
Royal Mail’s Tweets Deliver Truth About Nationalisation Royal Mail’s Tweets Deliver Truth About Nationalisation
Jez “Doesn’t Do Dinners” Jez “Doesn’t Do Dinners”
New Tory Slogan: Building a Britain Fit for The Future New Tory Slogan: Building a Britain Fit for The Future