Ed Balls Campaign Diary*

I’m still chuckling about those lines we put in Yvette’s article about why she “chose” not to stand. “We share stuff – including taking the kids to school. And he does all the cooking, shopping and sorting out the daily chaos of the house.” Gah. Despite her nagging, sometimes that girl can pull it off when she has to. Brilliant stuff. No mention of the nanny.

Nicola said we had to have a weekend like “normal people“. Most people I know wouldn’t consider a weekend in a caravan in the Lake District “normal”. It pissed down with rain and all I had was Eurovision to fill in the gaps between my anti-blinking exercises. Managed to read some of Campbell’s new diaries though, can’t believe that tosser had the audacity to suggest I “drivelled on endlessly“. What a bloody cheek? Drivel on endlessly? He should take a cold hard look at his last novel.

Campbell’s dig was no accident of timing, the continuity-Blarites are really getting on my nerves. Circling  like flies around the Miliband turd, everyone knows that the only “community organising” James Purnell is doing is as the covert campaign manager for David.  Purnell’s fluffer Sophie Sutcliffe is even on the staff. Seems I’m not the only one who has to rely on former MPs to be their campaign manager.

Beginning to miss the ministerial flunkies, had a bit of an embarrassment getting lost before an interview.

I’m safely nominated unlike that little girl Burnham, but the last thing we need is another candidate in the race. Some little freshman newbie has thrown his hat in the ring. I don’t know whether he will get the nominations but this Garner bloke already has a decent website. And videos. And he’s funnier on the Twitter. Where the hell is my website?  Watson promised to get it sorted, now it’s getting embarrassing.

*As leaked to Guido



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

“We have no plans to write off existing student debt.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
City Confident as Hiring Rates Rocket City Confident as Hiring Rates Rocket
Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake
Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’ Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’
Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer
BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies
Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket” Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket”
Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise
BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full
Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money
New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle
Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings
Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling
Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom
Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant
Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier
Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page
Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets
Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde