Calamity Kenny's Latest Comedy Moment

An update on calamity Kenny hits the inbox from a Scottish co-conspirator:

You may like to know that Kenny today led Ed Milliband through the turnstiles at the Scottish Parliament. However, oor Kenny led Ed to the wrong turnstile that only allows people to enter rather than exit. Cue a good 30 seconds or so of Ed looking like a cock trying to get through an immovable door. A far cry from Kenny’s door holding days of glory with Mr Brown.

Malcolm Tucker he ain’t…

IPSA-a-Daisy II

Last month they were accidentally paying people when they shouldn’t and now today, payday, it’s the turn of the bag-carriers and researchers to rage at IPSA. Scores of Parliamentary staff have been underpaid this month, with errors ranging from £20 to £300 shy. An all round saving  for the taxpayer.

When one lowly staffer phoned the IPSA offices to complain, they could not come up with an explanation, though ever helpful they replied – “We’ve got some P45 forms if you want one of those?”

Totty Watch : "Shagger" Nokes Grins and Bares It

Caroline Nokes, affectionately named “shagger” by the Tory whips, shocked some of the old-guard with her beaming smile as she stormed through Parliament the Monday after being done over by a Sunday newspaper for cheating on her husband with a tory-toyboy. Not batting an eyelid to the smirks and whispers, Nokes, an evangelical-Christian, clearly isn’t letting it get to her.


She certainly put on a formidable display at PMQs earlier…

Odd Jobbing from Larry Elliott

The Guardian has managed to turn a leaked Treasury PowerPoint forecasting lower unemployment  into a 1.3 million public sector jobs losses front page story. Larry Elliott, who really does know better, has ignored the same PowerPoint’s prediction of 2.5 million job gains in the private sector, giving a net gain of some 1.2 million jobs (as illustrated by the above chart). The Guardian chose not to front page the headline that the Treasury predicts 1.2 million job gains…

The Office for Budget Responsibility is equally clear in its forecast of lower unemployment

We expect employment to stabilise this year and to start rising in 2011. The ILO unemployment rate is expected to peak at just over 8 per cent in 2010, before falling gradually throughout the forecast period, to just over 6 per cent in 2014. The claimant count continues to decline, from 1½ million in 2010 Q1 to just over 1 million by the end of 2014 (Chart 3.12).

What is obvious to everyone is that the bloated public sector payroll is going to fall and a recovering private sector is expected to take up the slack. Larry has managed to set the news agenda today only by ignoring the whole story.  The loss making Guardian is of course the house-paper of the public sector, with pages full of advertisements for non-jobs.

The Guardian’s advertising revenues will be hit incredibly hard, to the tune of hundreds of millions pounds, by the public sector hiring freeze and the coming shift of public sector job advertising from their printed pages onto jobs.gov.uk.

A cynic might wonder if that perhaps helps to explain the paper’s editorial stance…

PMQs LIVE : Prison Doesn't Work Edition

[orderorder-live-event altcast_code=”fbc602e727″ height=”700″ width=”480″]

Calamity Kenny Spinning for Ed Miliband

In a quick update to the Labour Political Advisers list, Guido was most amused to hear that omnishambolic press officer Kenny Young has managed to keep his job. If you reward the slavish loyalty of greased-up party hacks who come up through the youth ranks with cosy press office jobs, you may find they don’t exactly have the talents required for such a high-pressure environment. Kenny is about as loyal as they come, a co-conspirator reports that he openly told people he styled his hair on Gordon Brown’s while chairman of Labour Students. So loyal he was assigned to be Gordon’s political press officer for the election campaign. Which went well.

First there was the infamous door opening for his hero Gordon, which the Tories quickly turned into an attack poster:

If that wasn’t bad enough in late April young Kenny was accompanying the Prime Minister on a trip to Rochdale. What could possible go wrong? Well any experienced press officer would have checked that their boss’s microphone was switched off after an event. Kenny was inside Mrs Duffy’s house as part of that hugely successful contingent of Brown staffers begging her to come outside after the apology.

Instead of firing this inept and useless spinner he’s got a new job. He’s now Ed Milband’s Head of Press… what could possibly go wrong?

UPDATE : Punters give Ed a 25% chance of becoming Labour leader versus a 62% chance for his brother David. No odds available on Kenny’s chances one day.

Quote of the Day

Tory Lord Inglewood thinks the Commons should sit late so Members can avoid “the temptations of the stews of Soho”

Cancelled: Diane v Brillo Part II

The Daily Politics is currently interviewing all the Labour leadership contenders. Well almost all, the usually media friendly Diane Abbott was scheduled for another pasting by Brillo this Thursday.

She is, for some reason, now no longer available…

Off to Debate Sir Michael White on the "Liberal Elite"

Guido is off to the Institute of Economic Affairs to debate the whats and wherefores of the “liberal elite”. As is traditional whenever Guido goes head-to-head with Sir Michael White, Guido is wearing national dress tonight (pictured).

The Free Society and Liberal Vision will be discussing:

Who holds the liberal torch in 2010: Libertarians, Lib Dems or the “liberal elite”?

Tuesday June 29, 2010 Chaired by Mark Littlewood (Institute of Economic Affairs), speakers include Julian Harris (chairman, Liberal Vision), Chris Mounsey (leader, Libertarian party), Brendan O’Neill (editor, Spiked!), Paul Staines (aka blogger Guido Fawkes), James Delingpole (writer, journalist and broadcaster), Mark Pack (co-editor, Liberal Democrat Voice) and Michael White (assistant editor, Guardian).

Quote of the Day

Simon Burns, Health Minister called the Speaker a…

“stupid, sanctimonious dwarf”.

Labour Leadership's Lingering Deficit Denial

Guido isn’t normally one for line-by-line analysis, but when glancing over Ed Miliband’s speech from earlier something very obvious stuck out. Take a look at what Ed was talking about the most:


What the speech boils down to is “People Want Labour and the State”. The election reality clearly hasn’t set in.

Compare the weight of words like “state” and “want” to “cut” and “deficit”. They are in utter denial.  The Labour leadership candidates aren’t going to get any cut through with their campaigns unless they stop talking about themselves and denying the hell-hole of a situation the country is in. They slam the coalition for their plans and far from offering any alternatives, simply whine.

+ + + Boris Beats Hippies + + +

The High Court has just ruled in favour of the Mayor of London who is trying to get the “peace” camp evicted from Parliament Square.

Developing…

UPDATE: The Mayor’s legal team said:

“In bringing this claim, the mayor does not seek to minimise the vital importance of the right to free speech and assembly and protest, especially in such a significant location and in such a vibrant city as this. Rather, what he seeks to achieve is to safeguard the rights of the majority to use and enjoy Parliament Square Gardens and bid to prevent the abrogation to themselves of such a place by a small minority, however well-intentioned.”

A Month Later

There was a flurry of excitement in yellow circles this morning as Lembit Opik declared he would like to run for Mayor of London for the LibDems. It all seemed rather familiar though.

Regular readers will remember that Guido told you this nearly a month ago:

He doesn’t understand why they bothered denying it at the time.

The campaign doesn’t seem to be getting off to a strong start though. The comments on LibDem Voice discussion at the prospect aren’t exactly in favour, with words such as “under NO CIRCUMSTANCES”, “idle” “self indulgent tosser” and “publicity-seeking fool” featuring heavily. But then again who ever thought Boris would get the Tory nomination…

Not So Special Now

It’s not just former ministers and Labour MPs who are having to get used to life in the slow lane. Spare a moment for all those poor former Special Advisers. But don’t feel too bad, those that haven’t disappeared off to make their fortunes still have a job on the taxpayer. Labour now have almost all of the Short Money haul that used to be divided up between the Tories and the Liberal Democrats. They lose the “special” title though.

Like he did with the SpAds, Guido is putting together a list of all the Labour “Political Advisers” as they are now known. Not everyone here is necessarily on Short Money and many will be working on leadership bids or could be part-time for other reasons.  The two dozen or so PAds cost taxpayers the best part of £2 million. Plenty of old faces have stuck around though.

Most amusing is Harman’s office where her staff basically consists of two economic wonks (Duncan Weldon and Stuart Hudson,) and a comedian (Ayesha Hazarika). Pretty much sums up where Labour are right now.

The list (it is as they say “in beta”) can be found here. Corrections, amendments and additions to guido.fawkes@order-order.com.

Dave Shows Disdain for Gordon's Desertion of Duty

In the Commons yesterday for Dave’s statement on the G8, when Harriet Harman asked him to give due credit to Gordon Brown for his work on international development, Dave retorted “I’d be delighted to, if he could be bothered to turn up to this House.”

If Gordon is taking the time to write his memoirs at our expense he should be ashamed. If he is in fact mentally incapacitated (cue howls of protest, but the rumours are circulating most widely in Labour circles) then he should stand down and take a rest.

Gordon was famous for his Macavity instinct – avoiding negative situations – this negative situation will continue until he either goes back to “getting on with the job” for which he is paid, or he resigns. The sooner the better.

UPDATE : Think last night’s vote on VAT was a three-line whip and Gordon didn’t care to vote. So much for standing up for fairness, remember “I will never let you down”…

Dolly Back in Parliament

EyeSpy.MP revealed last night that Derek Draper was back in the heart of politics in the company of Gloria de Piero MP. Gloria of course shared the GMTV sofa with Dolly’s missus Kate Garraway before she went into politics.

Last night when first spotted there was some incredulity that he would show his face again in the corridors of power, yet he was later seen enjoying himself on the Commons terrace.

What does the ‘Beauty and the Beast’ pairing signify? Is he giving politico-media advice to Gloria, or readying himself for a return? Guido thinks he deserves a third chance, the Labour Party in opposition is a very dull thing, set to get even duller under the leadership of David Miliband. Dolly’s return would liven things up…

UPDATE: Lest we forget Dolly gave Gloria her first job at his old comms firm Prima.

Quote of the Day

Asked to praise Gordon Brown’s work David Cameron said

“I’d be delighted to, if he could be bothered to turn up to this House.”

Hypocrisy of Diane Abbott Rolls On

Diane Abbott’s campaign has had a horrific week. She isn’t picking up much support and frankly every time she opens her mouth she shoots herself in the foot. It’s going to take her TV career, let alone backbench reputation a very long time to recover from her pasting by Andrew Neil on This Week last Thursday. Another week of the campaign begins with her saying something stupid…

She was straight out of the blocks today attacking IDS for his plans to allow people to move to areas where there are jobs available. Her criticism of the policy would be more credible if her parents hadn’t emigrated to the UK in the 1950s as part of a wave of economic migrants looking for work. Where would Diane Abbott be now if she her steel welder father hadn’t sought better career prospects somewhere new? Certainly not a contender for Leader of Her Majesty’s Most Loyal Opposition.

UPDATE : Punters give her and Andy Burnham each an outside 3% chance of becoming Labour leader.

Blair Doesn't Care

Given his willingness to use it for his own advantage whenever he was attempting his salt-of-the-earth, dyed-in-the-wool working class act, you would think that Tony Blair would have a little more concern for the fate of Trimdon Labour Club. His own authoritarian smoking legislation is to blame for the club being forced out of business and it is set to close. Perhaps he could dip into his pockets, or perhaps one of his off-shore trusts, for a little assistance to keep it afloat. Come on our Tony give something back t’Labour.

Gordon's Cabinet Jaunts Live On

Gordon’s strategy of taking the Cabinet on away-days to marginal seats looks set to continue under Dave. Tomorrow he will convene his first Cabinet at an as of yet unannounced location. When these expeditions were set up the Tories called them ascandalouswaste of taxpayers’ money.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Alan Sugar on Jeremy Corbyn:

“It’s clear you alluded to students refunds to get votes from young impressionable people. You are a cheat and should resign.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
IPSO Throws Out Baroness Scotland Complaints IPSO Throws Out Baroness Scotland Complaints
100% Inheritance Tax: Stupid or Evil? 100% Inheritance Tax: Stupid or Evil?
Paul Mason’s Play in 60 Seconds Paul Mason’s Play in 60 Seconds
Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
City Confident as Hiring Rates Rocket City Confident as Hiring Rates Rocket
Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake
Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’ Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’
Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer
BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies
Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket” Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket”
Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise
BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full
Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money
New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle
Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings
Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling
Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom
Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant
Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier