Ed Balls Campaign Diary* #Balls4Leader

Things are looking up, Yvette finally agreed, after a little bit of arm twisting, to nominate me rather than Diane Abbott, so am now just 10 short of 33 nominations. Nightmare scenario is that I’m 1 nomination short and have to rely on Gordon.

Lots of profile raising TV coverage for me, opposing Gove’s plans to roll out more of Blair’s bloody academies.  It was just like the old days, opposing Blairism that is, not the TV stuff, never did that in the open.

Not sure anyone noticed Burnham had his official launch in some sports centre, the crowd looked like they were waiting for bingo night. Burnham laid on the scouse accent quite thick and played up his modest roots and how he wanted little girls to be able to make something of themselves like he has, translation: look at all those Oxford educated sophisticates, they’re not like me, I’m working class. Didn’t mention he went to Cambridge did he? He even got some Liverpudlian multi-millionaire TV producer friend of his mother to endorse him. Very working class.

Jaffa Miliband had his third f*****g launch, he’s had his informal launch, a formal launch and now his digital launch – which he claims will help him build an Obama style online movement – as if – the website crashed straight away thanks to Tom Watson’s little hackery.  Jaffa has got the backing of Progress, in other words the continuity-Blairites with Lord Sainsbury’s money and Jessica Asato to give “every little help” with the online stuff.

Never mind I’ve got genuine grassroots twitternets support, @GeligniteBeverly and now this spontaneous Twitter upsurge with this #Balls4Leader hogtosh thing.  Apparently even bloggers from outside Labour want me to lead this Great Party of Ours. Loved the spontaneous netrootsBack Balls Not Bananas Milibandbomb-flash photo-op. Yes, I’m new Balls, the new media, new leader.

Feeling very positive, hardly blinking or stuttering at all. Beginning to think there is more support for me in the country to be leader than there even is within the party.  Will I be leader? I will. I, leader, will be.

*As leaked to Guido.



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Quote of the Day

Noel Gallagher on Brexit:

“In England, the Brexit thing, it’s like, I can’t believe there’s so much noise about it… It was put to the people as a vote, the people voted. That’s democracy. F***ing get over it.”

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