First day for a couple of hundred or so new MPs today.  The thrill of looking for a new office, excitement at your new status, a slight sense of disbelief that you pulled it off.  Congratulations, well done.

Here’s some advice.  Read the Green Book, it is your responsibility to know the rules.  Better still read the Shadow Kelly Report on reforming the rules and best practise, there are copies in the House of Commons library.  Screw up and try to use the excuse “I thought it was within the rules” and you’ll be unemployed after the next election (which might be sooner than you think). 

Don’t claim for a single thing that you don’t want to see on the front page of your local constituency newspaper.

Why are you in parliament? If it just to climb the greasy pole of power (and for many of you it is) well nothing Guido says is going to influence you.  If you have ideals, hold onto them, resist all baubles and temptations that might lead you to abandon those ideals.  Being a backbench MP who influences legislation for the better is a worthy if not so glamorous role.

Finally, never forget Guido and his co-conspirators will be watching you.  Step out of line by doing the wrong thing and we’ll be down on you like a ton of bricks.  Be seeing you….