Guido's Advice to Newbie MPs

First day for a couple of hundred or so new MPs today.  The thrill of looking for a new office, excitement at your new status, a slight sense of disbelief that you pulled it off.  Congratulations, well done.

Here’s some advice.  Read the Green Book, it is your responsibility to know the rules.  Better still read the Shadow Kelly Report on reforming the rules and best practise, there are copies in the House of Commons library.  Screw up and try to use the excuse “I thought it was within the rules” and you’ll be unemployed after the next election (which might be sooner than you think). 

Don’t claim for a single thing that you don’t want to see on the front page of your local constituency newspaper.

Why are you in parliament? If it just to climb the greasy pole of power (and for many of you it is) well nothing Guido says is going to influence you.  If you have ideals, hold onto them, resist all baubles and temptations that might lead you to abandon those ideals.  Being a backbench MP who influences legislation for the better is a worthy if not so glamorous role.

Finally, never forget Guido and his co-conspirators will be watching you.  Step out of line by doing the wrong thing and we’ll be down on you like a ton of bricks.  Be seeing you….




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Michael Crick on Safe Seats:

“In effect, new MPs are being elected day by day now, as, amid huge secrecy, small cabals of party bigwigs pick candidates for safe seats.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Leader of Anti-UKIP Protest Embroiled in SWP Rape Scandal Leader of Anti-UKIP Protest Embroiled in SWP Rape Scandal
Hollobone Agrees Tory-UKIP Pact Hollobone Agrees Tory-UKIP Pact
David Mackintosh Quits David Mackintosh Quits
Happy Ed Balls Day Happy Ed Balls Day
Campaign Report: 42 Days To Go Campaign Report: 42 Days To Go
Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special
Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go
Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch
Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward
‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party ‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party
More Selection Shenanigans More Selection Shenanigans
Bouattia Ousted Bouattia Ousted
David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron
Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll
Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today
Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter
Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier
Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now
Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down? Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down?
Banks Bottles It Banks Bottles It