The Brown Nixon Elvis Conspiracy Theory Competition

Guido has been racking his brain for an explanation into the thinking behind the Elvis support act for Gordon.  Here are my top conspiracy theories:

  1. Gordon is living out a Richard Nixon fantasy, he seems himself as a man of substance and policy, like Nixon, facing defeat at the hands of more photogenic and televisual opponents, with Clegg and Cameron playing the role of Kennedy.  So since Nixon and Presley were mates…
  2. Benjamin Wegg-Prosser has a £500 bet with Mandelson on who can succeed in making Gordon look the most ridiculous during the campaign.  Still 10 days to go so Mandelson is not paying up just yet.
  3. Alastair Campbell is back on the bottle and thought it was a good idea late one night.  He did big up the whole cringe-making event.
  4. Wee Dougie Alexander produced some focus group data that showed Elvis was still king in some key demographics, old people, people without iPods, C1, D1 hardworking families. Wee Dougie has now defected to the Miliband camp…
  5. Michael Jackson was unavailable.  He is after all a well known kids entertainer…

Put your theory in the comments please, best theory wins a copy of  The Big Red Book of New Labour Sleaze, competition closes midnight.


Seen Elsewhere



Tip offs: 020 7193 4041
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Peter Mandelson tells Emma Barnett…

“I think that Jeremy Corbyn himself should search his conscience and ask himself whether he’s the best person to lead the Labour Party into the general election with the best chance of success for the party.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.