The Brown Nixon Elvis Conspiracy Theory Competition

Guido has been racking his brain for an explanation into the thinking behind the Elvis support act for Gordon.  Here are my top conspiracy theories:

  1. Gordon is living out a Richard Nixon fantasy, he seems himself as a man of substance and policy, like Nixon, facing defeat at the hands of more photogenic and televisual opponents, with Clegg and Cameron playing the role of Kennedy.  So since Nixon and Presley were mates…
  2. Benjamin Wegg-Prosser has a £500 bet with Mandelson on who can succeed in making Gordon look the most ridiculous during the campaign.  Still 10 days to go so Mandelson is not paying up just yet.
  3. Alastair Campbell is back on the bottle and thought it was a good idea late one night.  He did big up the whole cringe-making event.
  4. Wee Dougie Alexander produced some focus group data that showed Elvis was still king in some key demographics, old people, people without iPods, C1, D1 hardworking families. Wee Dougie has now defected to the Miliband camp…
  5. Michael Jackson was unavailable.  He is after all a well known kids entertainer…

Put your theory in the comments please, best theory wins a copy of  The Big Red Book of New Labour Sleaze, competition closes midnight.




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

John Curtice, professor of politics at Strathclyde University, says….

“The UKIP vote is going to the Tories. That’s the story of the first week of the campaign.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special
Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go
Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch
Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward
‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party ‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party
More Selection Shenanigans More Selection Shenanigans
Bouattia Ousted Bouattia Ousted
David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron
Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll
Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today
Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter
Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier
Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now
Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down? Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down?
Banks Bottles It Banks Bottles It
Corbynista Unfurls “Farron Hates Gays” Placard Corbynista Unfurls “Farron Hates Gays” Placard
Esther McVey for Tatton Esther McVey for Tatton
Zac Back? Zac Back?
UKIP’s Islamo-Banifesto UKIP’s Islamo-Banifesto
Karen Danczuk Seeks Selection in Bury Karen Danczuk Seeks Selection in Bury