Gordon's Bananas

Award for the most obscure story in this morning’s papers has to go to The Telegraph. Apparently Gordon is cutting down his intake of Kit-Kats, and replacing them with bananas. Sources close to the Prime Minister’s snacking preparation confirmed that he will now only eat Kit-Kats when under “extreme-pressure”. So that must be fairly frequently then.

Gordon better watch out though, too many bananas can have a dangerous effect. Eating up to nine bananas a day, such as the Prime Mentalist is reported to be doing, can cause a build up of potassium.  This can cause gastrointestinal problems, kidney failure or even cardiac arrest.

It is not known whether David Miliband has decided to try a different type of coup.




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Michael Gove delivering Brexit for pets…

“I want to make sure Brexit delivers not just for the British people, but for animals too.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
McDonnell’s Favourite Asset Manager Operates Offshore McDonnell’s Favourite Asset Manager Operates Offshore
Five More Years of Kay Five More Years of Kay
Tricky Start in Brussels Tricky Start in Brussels
Indy Retracts Animal Sentience Story Indy Retracts Animal Sentience Story
Viral Animal Sentience Fake News Story Seen by Two Million Viral Animal Sentience Fake News Story Seen by Two Million
Labour Suspends Ivan Lewis Labour Suspends Ivan Lewis
IPSO Clears Kavanagh Column IPSO Clears Kavanagh Column
Corbynistas’ Shameful Milosevic Defence Corbynistas’ Shameful Milosevic Defence
Stella’s Fake News Stella’s Fake News
McDonnell Asked 8 Times How Much Labour Would Spend Servicing Debt McDonnell Asked 8 Times How Much Labour Would Spend Servicing Debt
Tax Cuts in The Budget Tax Cuts in The Budget
Corbyn Goes Shouty Crackers Corbyn Goes Shouty Crackers
OBR: Hammond’s Budget Rabbit Will Increase House Prices OBR: Hammond’s Budget Rabbit Will Increase House Prices
Hammond’s Banter Budget: All The Jokes Hammond’s Banter Budget: All The Jokes
Watch: Corbyn’s Black Rod Message Backfires Watch: Corbyn’s Black Rod Message Backfires
Budget Pic Budget Pic
Putin: Alex Salmond is Not a Kremlin Propagandist Putin: Alex Salmond is Not a Kremlin Propagandist
Gilbert and George Come Out as Brexiteers Gilbert and George Come Out as Brexiteers
Rudd Missed Key Brexit Vote Last Night Rudd Missed Key Brexit Vote Last Night
Top Corbynista Compares Mugabe to Queen Top Corbynista Compares Mugabe to Queen