Gordon's Bananas

Award for the most obscure story in this morning’s papers has to go to The Telegraph. Apparently Gordon is cutting down his intake of Kit-Kats, and replacing them with bananas. Sources close to the Prime Minister’s snacking preparation confirmed that he will now only eat Kit-Kats when under “extreme-pressure”. So that must be fairly frequently then.

Gordon better watch out though, too many bananas can have a dangerous effect. Eating up to nine bananas a day, such as the Prime Mentalist is reported to be doing, can cause a build up of potassium.  This can cause gastrointestinal problems, kidney failure or even cardiac arrest.

It is not known whether David Miliband has decided to try a different type of coup.




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Len McCluskey speaks from the Corbynista alternative universe:

“To the whingers and whiners who say we didn’t win, I say this. We did win.”

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