Guy News : From Copenhagen, Tripoli & Hendon

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Zac Ducks Tax and Claims CAP Subsidies

Tax ducking, bed hopping Zac Goldsmith is in hot water. Guido  promotes and pursues the minimisation of taxes, but it is a bit risky for a PPC seeking public office.   Zac says he hasn’t profited from non-domicile, that he volunteers more tax than he needs to and he gives oodles of cash to charidee.  Nevertheless the reason Goldsmith shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this is his rank and blatant hypocrisy.

If he had been a long term advocate for lower taxes, then his stance would be understandable.  Zac has done quite the opposite, he wants more taxes, ridiculous and unpopular green taxes that would cripple car drivers and frequent flyers.  How can someone who keeps his fortune sewn up in offshore trusts credibly in all conscience author a report calling for taxes to increase?  How green is the EU’s Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) from which his farm receives thousands of pounds in subsidies from the taxpayer?  Without a hint of irony he will tonight give a speech in Piccadilly on the subject of how to share our collective wealth.  Will that include sticking it in the Caymans?   Clearly taxes are for non-environmentally-conscious people.

Etonian Political Monopoly

If Eton is a political conspiracy rather than merely a school, it is doing quite well.  It boasts nineteen former PMs as well as three old boys in the current Tory shadow cabinet, plus of course the probable next PM.  It’s clearly still the establishment’s choice, though there was a time when people questioned whether another Old Etonian could ever become Prime  Minister again.  Fettes has since lost its grip on Downing Street.

Last week Lord Pearson OE was elected leader of UKIP.   Guido’s drinking buddy Chris Mounsey OE (of Devil’s Kitchen fame) was this weekend elected leader of the  Libertarian Party. Floreat Etona indeed…

Freedom for Scotland, Good for Londoners

Today the SNP led Scottish government is putting forward plans for a referendum, Alex Salmond is proposing four options; the status quo, the limited change offered by the Calman Commission, maximum devolution and full independence.

Labour opposes any referendum.  Somewhat incoherently so do the Tories and the LibDems.  Both parties claim to be in favour of localism and returning power to the people wherever possible.  The Tory arguments for repatriating powers back from Brussels to Westminster apply to giving the Scottish the right to self-government in Edinburgh.  So why do they oppose measures that move towards those goals in Scotland?  Isn’t it just petty partisan calculation?

Guido thinks Scottish Toryism is a busted flush.  Every nation in Western Europe has a strong, centre-right, patriotic party capable of forming a government – except Scotland – which has a weak centre-right party seen as too English.  Justifiably so.  Cameron says he will not allow Scotland to go independent on his watch,  reminding us that his party is the Conservative and Unionist Party.  Well that isn’t very localist and it isn’t “trusting the people” to deny them a referendum.  The rhetoric doesn’t match the policies again.

Maximum devolution (where the Union government in Westminster maintains foreign policy and national defence) is compatible with the localist ideas and rhetoric advanced by Tories and LibDems.  Brussels is where the fundamental legislative action takes place anyway.  London effectively pays for the national defence of the United Kingdom already, that wouldn’t change if Scotland became fiscally independent, though the £19 billion Boris identifies as being exported from London would inevitably be reduced.  If Scotland had to stand on its own fiscal feet it would soon discover that having a Sovietised economy is not sustainable.  An independent Scotland would see the SNP turn from being a left-wing nationalist party into a normal centre-right, patriotic party as found in every Western European democracy.

Quote of the Day

Nadine Dorries says…

“..our prisons aren’t full of alcoholics.”

Rich & Mark's Monday Morning View

Prezza Descended from "Incestuous Inbreds" Shock

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Sunday Sleaze

Sunday Sleaze

target-baronessThe Attorney General, Baroness Scotland flouted the tax laws, broke employment laws she herself drafted and fiddled £170,000 in expenses.  She was given a £5,000 fine for what she described as “technical breach of the rules”.  The rest of us call it breaking the law.  As far as Guido knows the only other issue she faces is a Bar Standards Council investigation for bringing the Bar into disrepute.   The Attorney General has got off very lightly…

You could argue that her former maid, Loloahi Tapui, also committed a “technical breach of the rules” in overstaying her visa.  She now faces charges and a prison sentenceDoes anyone else feel that the weight of the law is falling disproportionately on Lolo?

The Blairite loyalist Baroness Morgan has been caught fiddling her overnight expenses by pretending her Wandsworth home isn’t her main home.  The Lords authorities refuse to investigate this kind of fiddle despite, or  perhaps because, it is so widespread.  She tells the Lords that her main home is in Petersfield and she swears to Companies House on corporate filings she is ordinarily resident in Wandsworth.  Give you one guess to whom she is lying…

Morley

On a lighter note, Elliot Morley, one of the few MPs predicted to face fraud charges, spends a lot of time reversing edits to his Wikipedia page, mainly trying to erase references to his claiming of our cash on false pretences.  His detractors have managed to slip past the editors a change to the pronunciation of his name:

Guido suspects he won’t be a “shameless freeloader” for much longer…

Quote of the Day

Stephen Greenhalgh said…

“My mates are all in the shadow Cabinet, waiting to get those [ministerial] boxes, being terribly excited… I went to university with them, they haven’t run a piss-up in a brewery… they’re going to get a department of state, in one case running the finances of the nation.”

Gordon Not the Only One Outwitted in Brussels

Guido is increasingly fascinated with the coverage of EU affairs by the Thunderer.  Last month it crowned Tony Blair president of Europe on  the front page.  Guido said at the time this was a delusion.

Yesterday it reported on a great British diplomatic triumph over the damned French in Brussels.  “French foiled” ran the headline:

The Times’ Brussels correspondent David Charter then turned around 180 degrees and today reports a British defeat by the French.

This is the kind of insight they are going to put behind Murdoch’s pay-wall?

Saturday Seven Up

7upIf you were not one of the 52,381 visitors viewing 308,491 blog pages blog pages over the last seven days, here are the seven most popular stories (in order of popularity) that you missed:

You are either in front of Guido, or you are behind…

Guidogram Going Out Shortly : Copenhagen, Tripoli & Hendon

The Guy News TV broadcast is only available to Guidogram subscribers this weekend.  We sent Tory Bear to report back from Copenhagen and Tripoli, Emily Nomates went to glamorous Hendon to report on the expense claims of London’s most expensive MP, Andrew Dismore.  We also replay that moment of zen between Brillo and Michael White.

Guido, as ever, tells you about his week behind the blog.  Subscribe – thousands already have:

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Hammond Announces Quango Number 18

Philip Hammond gave a speech today outlining how a Tory government will be “Doing More With Less”. He austerely told the audience

Our challenge is two-fold: First to ensure the rapid implementation across Government and the public services of the many efficiency savings that have already been identified, but not effectively delivered. And secondly to embed the process of constant innovation in our public sector to create a culture in which the pursuit of efficiency becomes self-sustaining.

To help me in these tasks, we have decided to establish a Shadow Public Services Productivity Advisory Board…

That will be Tory Quango number 18 by Guido’s count…

UPDATE : Tom in the comments quips “What is this, a slimline quango?”, even the Cabinet Office’s Liam Byrne is laughing, “Philip Hammond is clearly a quango-addict”.

Friday Caption Competition (Jonah Dubai Edition)

Jonah Does Dubai

Jonah Brown met Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the ruler of Dubai on Monday in Downing Street. As ever, doom was sure to follow. On Wednesday Dubai announced it could no longer service billions in debts, raising fears of a sovereign default, triggering global stock markets to tumble this week amid fears of the dreaded double dip.

The malign hand of Jonah Brown strikes again…

Limerick Competition Winner

Think JGM2 is the winner that is publishable in a family blog:

There once was an MP from Fife
Who was always afraid for his life
To questions of competence
At his own Party Conference
He preferred to just hide ‘hind his wife

So if JGM could emails Guido their postal address a copy of the book Crap MPswill be sent to you.  Win with Guido!

After Gold, is Water the Brown Bottom II?

The billions lost by Brown’s decision to sell Britain’s gold reserves are mounting as gold prices have more than quadrupled since his decision.  He has the reverse midas touch when it comes to market timing.  This chart shows what is known in the gold market as “Brown’s Bottom”:

Now far be it from Guido to oppose a privatisation, but he seems intent on doing for water what he has done for gold. Gordon wants to sell the British Waterways’ property portfolio in a £16 billion asset fire sale. Obviously this is prime development land with waterside views. However we are in the midst of a property slump:

Selling development land now is just plain stupid because it is too cheap.  Essentially Gordon is so desperate to raise capital it seems he is willing to sell at any price, even if it is a crap deal for the taxpayer.   If you are going to do asset sales, you don’t sell assets with depressed prices.

Quote of the Day

Barclays Capital told clients 3 weeks ago…

“We recommend a long position in Dubai sovereign credit and see today’s negative price actions as an opportunity to buy.”

Bullying and Irony

Bad Al Campbell is decrying Andy Coulson for “bullying”. Where does one start?

Campbell drove a man to his grave.  He is the model for Malcolm Tucker, he lied and bullied all his days in Downing Street.  Damian McBride was just a cut price version of his predecessor.  Watch his face in this classic encounter when Michael Howard goes all j’ accuse…

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Coulson now spends his days bullying tabloid editors.  Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose…

Competition : What is Gordon Thinking?

Not a caption competition this today (that is tomorrow).   For context you should know that this snap was taken from  yesterday’s PMQs  and  was kindly sent in by a co-conspirator.

Guido will send a copy of the book Crap MPs to the composer of the best 4 5-line limerick conveying the circumstances surrounding this picure. […] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

“We have no plans to write off existing student debt.”

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