PM's Wife Taken by Aliens on UFO to Venus

Alien KidnappersNo, really.  The new Japanese premier-in-waiting, Yukio Hatoyama, has won an historic election victory over the long-ruling Liberal Democratic Party. That is nothing, his wife Miyuki, beat alien kidnappers. In Miyuki’s book published last year  (“Very Strange Things I’ve Encountered”) she claims that “while my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus… It was a very beautiful place and it was really green.”

First Ladies are often “out there”.  Nancy Reagan consulted astrologers, Cherie Blair had tantric, naked, in-shower, deep massages with Carole Caplin amongst other fruity new age mumbo jumbo practises.  Bet Sarah Brown sometimes wishes she was kidnapped by aliens….




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Boris Johnson was shown a trophy monkey head as he toured a room of illegally-poached animals seized by Scotland Yard. He said:

“What’s this poor chap here? Faint air of a … Labour backbencher.”

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