Keen Court Report

Mr-&-Mrs-Keen-on-Expenses

This just in from Guido’s court reporter and co-conspirator, Colin Murphy, at the hearing into the occupation of an empty, taxpayer funded property by taxpayers:

It was a very good-natured hearing, delayed by some 25 minutes (the Keen’s counsel in that time instructed to don robe and wig) during which time the Legal Occupiers entertained a standing-room only court no. 1 with choruses to the tune of Ringo’s masterpiece:

“We all live where the Keens are never seen, Keens are never seen, Keens are never seen”.

There was an air of inevitability of the outcome with the Legal Occupiers relying on the claim of procedural defect in that the order was made against unknown persons, despite the disclosed identities being conveyed on the day of the constabulary’s first appearance. There was some precedent in LB Hackney in 1994, but legislation had superseded that event.

With scenes reminiscent of Spartacus, Judge Plaskow in calling the hearing named a defendant and explained the consequences with regard to any costs order of being named, followed with a number of the Legal Occupiers standing one by one to be added to the action, until a further 11 were named as defendants.

One of the number, Mark Felix, was asked by the judge if he was considering a career in the law after a novel and ‘interesting’ line about them having beneficial ownership as the taxpayer had paid for the home and the concept of whether the Keens had acquired the equity of the home with ‘clean hands’ and reference was made to the breaking news that they were to be investigated by the Parliamentary Standards Committee. The judge wisely said that he could not go behind Parliament in this matter.

The bewigged counsel stated that the Keens had not been in residence since August 2008 and it may be semantic but only Mr. Keen was mentioned as the owner during one exchange, raising the question of how Mrs. Keen was claiming a second home allowance.

Ah well, fun while it lasted…




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Philip Hammond uses a trip to Berlin to mock the Foreign Secretary:

“A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. Wise words with some applicability to the Brexit negotiations although I try to discourage talk of “cake” amongst my colleagues.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Meltdown After Nuclear Power Plant Holds Bikini Contest to Choose Interns Meltdown After Nuclear Power Plant Holds Bikini Contest to Choose Interns
DUP Deal Signed DUP Deal Signed
Watch: McDonnell on Grenfell ‘Murder’ Watch: McDonnell on Grenfell ‘Murder’
Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
The Economist’s Lack of Intelligence Unit The Economist’s Lack of Intelligence Unit
Happy Independence Day! Happy Independence Day!
Sun Cleared by Hospital Sun Cleared by Hospital
Exporters Order Books at 29 Year High Exporters Order Books at 29 Year High
Corbyn Refuses to Bow to The Queen Corbyn Refuses to Bow to The Queen
McDonnell Repeatedly Backed Far Left ‘Day of Rage’ Group McDonnell Repeatedly Backed Far Left ‘Day of Rage’ Group
“Soft” and “Hard” Brexit Terms Obsolete “Soft” and “Hard” Brexit Terms Obsolete
Hammond’s “Sound Money” Speech Sadly All Spin Hammond’s “Sound Money” Speech Sadly All Spin
Tommy Robinson Called British Muslims “Enemy Combatants” Tommy Robinson Called British Muslims “Enemy Combatants”
Corbyn Praised at London Hezbollah Rally Corbyn Praised at London Hezbollah Rally
Government Understaffed – Key SpAd Vacancies Up for Grabs Government Understaffed – Key SpAd Vacancies Up for Grabs
Clive Lewis: “Burn Neoliberalism” Clive Lewis: “Burn Neoliberalism”
Corbynista Ultras Involved in Storming Kensington Council Corbynista Ultras Involved in Storming Kensington Council