Guido’s guide to the lies you will be hearing:
“It has since been corrected” – I knew it was going to come out and it was such a blatant fiddle that I realised I had to repay the fraudulently claimed money before it came out.
“The Fees Office approved the payment“ – the Fees Office always take the word of “honourable” members. They always make the payment without question.
“It was a clerical error” – it was a small fiddle.
“Lessons have been learned“ – we have got away with it, but we won’t do it again.
“We need to have two homes to do our job properly” – why stay in a hotel when we can build a property portfolio at the public’s expense?
“Claims were made in good faith” – we have always got away with it in the past.
“It was within the rules” – MPs make the rules to suit themselves. MPs are lawmakers, judge and jury. It is a joke at our expense. They really are almost all at it. Now we can see…