He fatuously told frontline soldiers in Afghanistan last week en route to Beijing that they were like Olympic heroes. He caught an early flight home from Beijing just so he could bask in the medal winners reflected glory – as if it had anything to do with him – shaking their hands on their return.

Bush and Sarkozy have solemnly met the coffins of their returning war heroes. Guido has never once seen a picture of Gordon Brown or Tony Blair showing their respects. It might not be such a good photo-opportunity, it would however be the right thing to do.

UPDATE : A co-conspirator asks in the comments “Yes, how come our armed forces have a part time minister and the Olympic games a full time minister?”