“The Hitch” Meets Peter Hitchens

The Hitch has just called with news, he has met the object of his homage this morning outside the British Museum.

Having spotted his hero he, of course, asked him for an autograph.

The not-at-all-bonkers Hitchens produced a grubby biro from his pocket, apologised for not having a fountain pen and proceeded to sign, just as he reached the letter “H” the Hitch said “I think I owe you an apology”. He immediately stops and asks “Why?”

As the Hitch recounts

“I’m the one who called himself Peter Hitchens on the Guido blog.” His chin hits his chest, a look of righteous indignation spread across his face followed by the screwing up of the autograph and his saying “In that case you aren’t having my autograph.”

I proffered my apology saying that as soon as I realised not-at-all-bonkers Hitchens had been hurt by my homage, I stopped doing it, this apparently wasn’t enough for the committed Christian. A frank exchange of views was then exchanged. Despite having told him it had all been in good spirit, Hitchens replied “If you really believe that then you are an even bigger aperture than you look”. To which I then retorted with a sub-Wildean flourish “And you are even more of a pompous w****r than I ever imagined, and you have a fat arse, now f*** off!”

The Hitch reports that his not-at-all-bonkers namesake then did just that, affording him a fine view of the Hitchens posterior as he wandered off a broken man. The Hitch is a disappointed, autograph-less man this morning…

See also the infamous blog post Peter Hitchens Stalking The Hitch




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Boris on Osborne and Project Fear:

Unemployment has fallen by 250,000 to a new low of 4.2 per cent while record numbers of jobs have been created – including no fewer than 8 for the former chancellor and chief architect of project fear who has become a glorious living rebuttal of his own preposterous warnings.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
US Ambassador on Sadiq US Ambassador on Sadiq
Question Time’s £450,000 Gender Pay Gap Problem Question Time’s £450,000 Gender Pay Gap Problem
Riot Convicted Bastani on “Public Nuisance” Riot Convicted Bastani on “Public Nuisance”
Press Gallery Welcomes: Thornberry Press Gallery Welcomes: Thornberry
Labour Candidate on “Holocaust Mongers” Labour Candidate on “Holocaust Mongers”
Lansman to Discuss Corbyn Anti-Semitism “Smears” in Israel Lansman to Discuss Corbyn Anti-Semitism “Smears” in Israel
WATCH: May Speech Brings About Policy Exchange Collapse WATCH: May Speech Brings About Policy Exchange Collapse
Tories Make Sick Labour MP Vote in Wheelchair Tories Make Sick Labour MP Vote in Wheelchair
Leaked Emails Show DfT Lied About Northern Rail Leaked Emails Show DfT Lied About Northern Rail
Alan Sugar Tries to Get Sacked from BBC Alan Sugar Tries to Get Sacked from BBC
May Considers Asking to Stay in Single Market for Goods May Considers Asking to Stay in Single Market for Goods
Smith Must Hold Firm Against Grieve Smith Must Hold Firm Against Grieve
Eurotunnel: Don’t Buy Border Scaremongering Eurotunnel: Don’t Buy Border Scaremongering
CCHQ Defaced With Anti-Heathrow Graffiti CCHQ Defaced With Anti-Heathrow Graffiti
Labour Parliamentary Candidate Distances Herself From Rothschilds, ‘Zion Scum’ and ‘Fake Jews’ Tweets Labour Parliamentary Candidate Distances Herself From Rothschilds, ‘Zion Scum’ and ‘Fake Jews’ Tweets
Saj: Time to Review Scheduling of Cannabis Saj: Time to Review Scheduling of Cannabis
Sally Bercow: We’re Not Packing Bags Yet Sally Bercow: We’re Not Packing Bags Yet
Shouty Cracker Lord Moat’s Mask Slips Shouty Cracker Lord Moat’s Mask Slips
Jolyon’s Mystery £100,000 Donor Jolyon’s Mystery £100,000 Donor