Gordon Wants Beckham

According to Pink News, David Beckham is happy with his status as a gay icon, insisting he’s proud to be a pin-up for gay men who desire him. The L.A. Galaxy hunk is so comfortable with his sexuality, “he never recoils when a lusty homosexual casts an amorous glance in his direction”. He says, “I’m very honored to have the tag of gay icon.”
Despite renouncing celebrity culture Gordon is trying to co-opt David Beckham into a photo-op. No doubt we will soon see Gordon pictured at Beckham’s Football Academy, surrounded by photogenic boys in tight shorts. Maybe not as tight as David’s choice here…

Gordon Boredom

Gordon Brown’s press conference is going on now. The political press pack is coming to dread Gordon’s repetitious droning. Iain Martin in the Telegraph said Gordon Brown’s speech on the NHS yesterday “went on, and on, and on… The content is very much downtown Havana and the presentation style also has Cuban echoes, like one of those speeches by Castro it goes on, and on, and on.”

John Harris in this morning’s Guardian reckons it is hard to distinguish Brown from a crypto-Stalinist parody –

“We will strengthen the democracy and unity of our country. Our priority at all times, our guiding purpose: one Britain of security and opportunity … With unbending determination, we will steer a course of stability through global financial turbulence … with firm conviction and resolve, we will make the case for the United Kingdom … I pledge my resolution to continue the work of change.”

Simon Hoggart criticises his descent into into verb-free sentences. Most Lobby journalists are bored with Gordon already, his colourless technocratic rhetoric. The automatic repetition of phrases and keywords such as “change”, “long term”, “tough decisions”, “my vision” and “getting on with the job” seems to be orally excreted on an endlessly looping tape. It going to be a long time until the next election…

UPDATE : Ben Brogan seems to have become bored and disenchanted with the Brownies as well. He even calls Gordon dishonest.

Slave for the Fair Pay Network?

The world of young political researchers is notoriously underpaid and full of risk from sexually predatory employers. A co-conspirator has emailed with details of possibly the most ironic job advertisement Guido has seen.

It is a job ad for the soon to be launched “Fair Pay Network” backed by UNISON, OXFAM (UK), New Policy Institute, Child Poverty Action Group, One Parent Families/Gingerbread, Mayor of London, London Citizens, NUS, Unite the Union, Equanomics, UNISON, Counsel and Care, TUC and the New Policy Institute.

The position involves general office admin and researching into low-pay. It pays expenses only…

More Steve Morgan Anecdotes Please

Peter Hain’s sleazy lobbyist fundraiser, Steve Morgan, told Radio Wales this morning that he had been brought in to the campaign to “bring order to chaos”. A source retorts “bollocks”. Every donation, they insist firmly, was properly accounted for up until the moment Phil Taylor walked out after falling out with Morgan. The documentation Guido got hold of in May seemed very precise and backs this up.

Hain’s allies are furious at Morgan’s audacity. Guido hears so many bad things about Mr Morgan. Do email more to Guido.Fawkes@Order-Order.com.

Credit Crunch Over Hain’s £5,000 from Loan Company CEOHe Gave Ringing Commercial Endorsement to Backer

Carol Vorderman charges a fortune to advertise debt consolidation company FirstPlus. Peter Hain got a donation of £5,000 from rival debt consolidaton company boss, Neville Allport, his Picture Financial Services plc offers easy credit – “You can even borrow up to 125% of the value of your home” says the website “something that traditional lenders won’t consider.” They won’t consider such gearing because it is financially reckless.

Prominently displayed all over the company website is Hain’s ringing commerical endorsement. Guido can’t recall a serving minister’s endorsement ever being used to advertise a company in this way. Guido is sure that Hain’s endorsements and the £5,000 donation are entirely coincidental.

The 10.9% APR charged to credit maxed out debtors is very profitable, which probably explains why Ronnie Cohen’s Apax Private Equity is the biggest investor in Picture Financial Services plc. Remind Guido again where Hain stood on the Private Equity issue during the deputy-leadership campaign…

UPDATE : Looks like Hencke and Wintour on the Guardian are joining the chase this morning, with a front-page splash on Hain’s missing declarations. They are (rightly) fingering sleazy lobbyist Steven Morgan, identified by Guido in May 2007 as responsible for raising the cash.

The story points vaguely to an undeclared circa £10,000 from “City or business people”. Hain is said to be personally auditing the figures. Don’t forget the benefits-in-kind Peter…



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David David responds when asked if he’s confident he can make a success of Brexit:

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