Competiton Winner : Green Tax Cut

Surprisingly, knowing the mindset of co-conspirators, they voted not to give tax relief to farting and shitting, but to not having children.

Guido of course being a good and fertile Catholic is not impressed with the no-children Green tax credit idea, but it does have a certain anti-humanity, Green ideological logic consistency to it. Perhaps Huhne or Zac will take up the idea…

If AntiCitizenOne is not too paranoid to email in with his address, his prize will be sent to him by return.

Lunch with Thatcher

Just got back from lunch. On the table next to me was a denim clad Carol Thatcher. Obviously Guido listened in to her conversation. She was drinking rosé with a younger Latino, possibly South American guy, bemoaning the tax man. “No the money in Switzerland is in my own name” was the tone of the conversation. Out of respect for her mother and a shared loathing for the Inland Revenue, Guido will leave it at that. She definitely has no luck with men – she split the bill…

Friday Caption Contest (Flint & Smith)

Splitter! Splits! Hooray!

Political correspondents can breathe a collective sigh of relief. As we exit the substance desert that was the silly season they can now start writing “party split” stories.

Keith Vaz, a former minister for Europe, is calling for a referendum on the European constitution that Jim Murphy, the current minister for Europe says isn’t a constitution, just a bit of administrative tidying up. The FCO traditionally lies for its country, Murphy is lying for a foreign superstate. Blunkett says a referendum was promised and Miliband says Labour is not split. Super…

Gummer is getting a kicking from John Redwood saying basically that the mad burger-eater will damage the economy with his Green taxes and plans for increasing airport congestion. Cameroonie sources are briefing that they won’t pay much attention to the loopier ideas from Zac and Gummer. Fantastic…

So we have splits, splitters and lots of easy copy ahead of the party conferences. Cynics among you might wonder if the splits haven’t just been teased out by the media to manufacture a storyline, the Sun (Vaz article) and GMTV (Redwood interview) can take the credit for getting it going. The show must go on…

Blog Today, Print Tomorrow (Again)

Iain Dale has alerted Guido to the fact that the blog post on Huhne was recycled in the newspaper diaries this morning. Guido doesn’t usually read ’em, but they clearly read him…Peter McKay’s Ephraim Hardcastle in the Mail even pinched the carbon based life forms crack. Is Guido bitter? He’d like a case of decent Margaux sent over from Associated Press this time. The Evening Standard’s diary has been stealing stories from Guido and Iain for years without ever paying a penny. Guido is still smarting from receiving a mysterious letter from the Evening Standard headed “Dear Londoner’s Diary Contributor”… is someone fiddling the expenses at Associated?

Competition : Vote for Best Green Tax Cut

Guido has selected for voting some of your Green tax cut proposals that seemed workable:

  1. Big Jock Knew: Weight based transport tax – skinny people pay less for train and aircraft fares as they burn less CO2 transporting them.
  2. AntiCitizenOne said… The ultimate green tax-cut would be a No-children tax credit. No people, no anthropomorphic. Go on, it’s for the children!
  3. Anonymous said… Give tax cuts to people who fart into emissions capture devices.
  4. Barry said… Human Excrement tax credits for those who donate their human waste to facilities that turn it into energy. See here and here.

Winning proposal gets a copy of the Little Red Book of New Labour Sleaze.

Dave on Newsnight

Everyone seems to think Dave did well on Newsnight last night, in the sense that he was calm and didn’t get rattled. However, Michael Crick is in all honesty no Paxman, the four presenters combined are actually easier to face than Newsnight’s Grande Dame.

To be fair Dave faced a slippery nipple obssessed Paxman in 2005. It takes a bit of political courage to face Paxman. When did Gordon ever face Paxman?

No Sign of Bush on Porn-trait

Disappointingly, not as vulgar as Guido was hoping..

Cars are Greener than Planes & Trains

Back in 2004, Lancaster University’s Professor Roger Kemp, a Fellow of the Royal Society of Engineering, produced a report for the Institution of Mechanical Engineers, on the environmental impact of high-speed rail versus air and car travel. He used the example of the London to Edinburgh route to illustrate his findings. The conclusions were startling and rather annoying for the car hating Green fundamentalists.

With electricity generated from fossil fuels:

  • Travel by conventional rail contributes as much to global warming as travel by car
  • Over a 600 km sector, travel by high speed rail is as environmentally unfriendly as air travel
  • Cars are more fuel efficient than planes or trains. Cars are greener.

Source : www.engineering.lancs.ac.uk/research/download/Environmental impact.pdf

Trains are heavy, get their energy inefficently down wires where much of the energy is lost and are fundamentally a nineteenth century point-to-point technology belonging to a slower era. Cars are light, fuel efficient, and a liberating, flexible form of transport suited to modern life. Greens hate them so much because they are ideologically opposed to capitalist modes of consumption. So why are the Tories giving headspace to this anti-Car, anti-Air travel nonsense with their penalty tax proposals?

Huhne : “Ban Petrol Cars”

It must be Green Loon Day today – the LibDems have just released (on recycled paper) a 46 page plan for a “Zero Carbon Britain”. Which is a bit scary since we are carbon-based life forms.
Huhne also wants to ban petrol cars within a generation (by 2040). How he has changed from his days as a City slicker when he drove about the Square Mile in a big black petrol guzzling BMW 7 Series, with the self-effacing number plate “H11HNE”. He now drives a greenish poseur politician’s electo-petro Toyota Prius hybrid. The only green vehicle is a bike, like Boris has…

Competition : Suggest a Green Tax Cut

Lets have some suggestions for Green tax cuts in the comments. Guido might even dig out a prize, say a copy of the Little Red Book of New Labour Sleaze for the best.*

Exempt bicycles and insulation from VAT was one suggestion. Maybe windmills should be VAT exempt, along with watermills and solar panels too. Sailing yachts are very environmentally sound, exempt them while we are at it…

Suggestions in the comments please…

*“Best” defined as whatever Guido likes.

Gummer-Goldsmith Green Taxes

If like Guido you remain resolutely unconvinced that the world is about to suffer climate catastrophe because of man-made carbon emissions, the idea of slapping “green” taxes on everything that moves just looks like an excuse for more taxes. The truth of this is evident in that they don’t propose to cut taxes on less carbon intensive modes, which would incentivise their uptake.

If, as with Guido’s family, there are three countries you call home, it is particularly penal. Short of slowly sailing around Western Europe with a horse and cart in the hold, Guido is going to have to pay a lot of “green taxes”. Will it change his behaviour? No, it will just cost more. Will it make a blind bit of difference to the condition of the planet? No.

Gummer and Goldsmith (in particular) are obssessed with reversing the modern way of life for the many and returning us back to some romanticised peasant life. If they didn’t have the carbon emissions bogeyman the environmentalists would make something else up to further this aim. This is just another racket giving eager politicians an excuse to raise taxes.

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Friday Caption Contest (Late August Edition)

Evidence of the Coulson Effect?

When Guido first saw the “Anarchy in the UK” headline for yesterday’s speech press release by Dave, he thought it was a little too knowing. But it worked for The Sun today. Today Dave’s speech steals a line from Hilary Clinton, “it takes a village”. Is he re-branding the the Tories as the Village People?

GuyNews TV : Cheney Argues Against Occupying Iraq (1994)

This fascinating clip doing the rounds is from Cheney’s time back at the AEI think tank. Dick lucidly and cogently explains why Bush senior did not go to Baghdad in the first Gulf War. So what changed ex-Halliburton CEO, Dick Cheney’s mind?

See what Cheney looks like when he is speaking the truth on GuyNews.TV.

How the Crowd Welcomed Them…

A number of co-conspirators have mentioned that the moment the stadium big screens showed* Brown and Merkel at the match last night, there was a rare example of spontaneous Anglo-German unity. Both ends of the crowd started booing. Alles Gut…

*If you recorded the match, stick it up on YouTube please.

Cheney Warns Against Quagmire of Invading Iraq in 1994

See You Later

Every Week 2,000 People Go Bust

Gordon likes to talk about stability and prudence, but rising indebtedness and rising interest rates have led to people going bust and losing everything at the rate of 2,000 a week. Individuals are losing homes and businesses at an astonishing rate – triple that seen during the 1991/92 recession.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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Michael Crick on Safe Seats:

“In effect, new MPs are being elected day by day now, as, amid huge secrecy, small cabals of party bigwigs pick candidates for safe seats.”

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