A co-conspirator draws to Guido’s attention a report in yesterday’s London Paper. After spending an evening in a Soho restaurant Gordon Brown “emerged, clutching a mysterious brown envelope, he was harangued by a group of hoodies. ‘They were all screaming abuse at him, calling him gay and a poof… They were getting aggressive. A girl said she’d had her benefits cut and was going to rob him.’ ”

The chancellor was bundled into his car by security officers.