Something about the zeitgeist this month means that every successful blogger has to acquire a stalker. The Hitch has surpassed Guido in this sense. Whilst Guido has cyber-stalkers and comment trolls galore, the latent tension between “the real” Peter Hitchens the controversialist right-wing writer and the Peter Hitchens that writes for the Mail on Sunday is reaching hysterical levels. It was funny first time, but this round is bonkers.

First Hitchens complained to Yahoo that the Hitch was using the name Peter Hitchens in his Yahoo mail address. The complaint resulted in Yahoo removing his service. So he simply re-registered as therealpeterhitchens@… Then Guido got a phone call from the Hitch – “Peter Hitchens has just cycled up my drive”.

On his blog he elaborates –

I didn’t answer the door for a few reasons.
1, He didn’t ring the bell
2, I was wearing nothing other than my underwear
3, I thought “Fucking no way is that Peter Hitchens”

Having put a pair of pants on and gone to the door he was gone, If he hadn’t I would have invited him in. I have to say I admire his balls for doing it, the man has made a career out of touring some of the scariest places on earth and confronting far nastier folk than your humble blog host.

This “Hitch” admires the other “Hitch” but thinks he is a bit up himself and should lighten up, having said that , as long as he keeps threatening me he can fuck off and I will ratchet this up as high as he likes.

At first Guido thought the Hitch had been at the sherry, but no, he claims Peter Hitchens is moaning and making vague threats via email continuously. It is hard to see what course of action is open to him in law. There is no law against parody. In fact it seems to Guido if anyone is guilty of anything, it is Peter Hitchens for having a total lack of a sense of proportion. Cycling around peering through people’s letterboxes, he should be charged with travelling without a sense of humour. That’s stalkers for you…