A Candle in the Wind

As a disbelieving country comes to terms with its grief that the Labour Party might be going bankrupt, Your Servant Catesby, Esq can only repeat the statement he gave to the assembled press corps on the steps outside Catesby Hall:

“We are today a nation in a state of shock, in mourning, in grief that is so deeply painful for us. (Gulp) It was the People’s Party. (Pause. Stare into middle distance.) It was a wonderful and a warm human party, although often sadly touched by tragedy. (Extract onion from pocket, wipe tears from eye). It touched the wallets of so many others in Britain and throughout the world with …. etc etc.”

It’s lucky that Labour are in hock to the Co-Op, because they arrange cheap funerals, don’t they? Sir Elton John will be performing a specially re-written version of the “Red Flag” in St Paul’s Cathedral (creditors permitting).

What Labour could do with now is a new leader with experience of handling dodgy accounting, escalating expenditure in excess of income, a pensions black hole, debt being deferred into the future to a point where it cannot be paid off and an underperforming front-line.

Catesby, Esq




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Quote of the Day

John McDonnell tells the Gallery/Lobby lunch what the priest told him to do…

‘He persuaded me to do this. He said you need to soften your image. So do Mumsnet and do this…. I’m trying to soften my image.’

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