He only went up to the press office to file some copy because he was unable to get his own internet connection to work. He was spotted by some bored photographers who staked out the only exit from CCHQ press office. Soon the chanting began. A hundred strong crowd of bored media boys and girls gathered and it became a flash mob happening. Boris had walked into his own ambush.

Ladders were fetched and Boris was filmed tapping away on his keyboard inside the office. He gave up, came out and the melee began. Mars bars were proffered in his direction and apologies were demanded.

N.B. Sorry the above got lost yesterday, but was too smashed yesterday afternoon to work the mobile blogging connection. By the time of Cameron’s speech Guido was so drunk none of it made any sense. Could have sworn the leader of the opposition was praising the leader of the government. Obviously Guido was too far gone.