So for those of you who have lost track of this farce; nominations for the Tory Mayoral candidate were to close last Friday afternoon, on Thursday Guido reported it was all to be delayed six months, Cameron’s press secretary denied this saying they were “thrilled with all the candidates”, Friday morning the London Evening Standard repeated Guido’s story. Dave, it is reported, over-ruled Frankie and at 3pm Maude sent out a press release saying the nominations would stay open for another six months. Forgetting to first tell the candidates.

Guido was having a Guinness with a candidate, who was totally bemused by the shambles when the news broke. We also found out on Friday that there was a seventh dwarf* candidate, Andrew Boff. Now that James Cleverly has withdrawn his candidacy we are back down to six. Cleverly coincidentally discovered last week he was on the A-list, so perhaps he didn’t need his profile raised after all…

Lee Rotheram, an Iraqi war veteran (pictured), is standing on a platform of reducing the extra tier of London government down to size. In the current mood of unrest amongst London Tories, Guido would make Lee third favourite. His platform is straightforward and different from the other candidates – his is a Thatcherite agenda and we all know what she did to Ken when he last ruled over London. CCHQ will not be keen on his candidacy, another reason he may do well.

*Nick Boles is too tall to be a dwarf, so he will have to be Snow White.