Osborne in Tokyo Playing on the Trains

George Osborne wants the private sector to build a Japanese-style 360mph “maglev” railway. “There are plenty of links I can think of – a link between Liverpool and Manchester, or Glasgow and Edinburgh, or London and its airports – which would bring huge benefits to Britain.” He plans to make it viable by taxing all other forms of transport to the point of bankruptcy.

George is in Japan and will ride the magnetic levitation train tomorrow. Not the first time he will have got high on a long line methinks.

Hat-tip : Kinnerly [sort of]

Greenwich Watch

It is getting a bit murky ain’t it? Like Vegas in the early days, crooks and crooked politicians always seem to meet in casinos…

Eh? Guardian Nice About Guido?Says Co-Conspirators Are “Influential Elite”

Roy Greenslade has a long delayed Guardian piece today. He describes Guido’s co-conspirator readers thus:

“What counts is the fact that his regular audience is drawn almost entirely from a small, but influential, elite.”

Guido is:

“the bastard lovechild of (former Sun editor) Kelvin MacKenzie and (rock gossip website) Popbitch”.

Pop!

Sour Grapefruit for Breakfast

The Tory Candidates Association is hosting a not very inclusive Female Candidates Breakfast at the party conference. It will be held on Monday 2nd, October at the Highcliffe Hotel, Bournemouth, from 7.30am – 9.30am.

Some members of the Candidates Association feel that having paid their dues it is a little bit irritating to be excluded so they have organised a rival event:

Headline Hints of Hangovers

Sharper readers of the dead-tree-press will realise that headlines like Kennedy ‘must recover’ before return” and “Sir Menzies Campbell made clear that he would be welcome but only once he is ‘fully recovered’ “ don’t make sense if he is now sober.


The press is being kind and nobody is openly saying that Charlie is not a full-time passenger on the wagon. Far be it from Guido to claim any high moral ground here, in fact the prospect of finishing a bottle of Port with Charlie after lunch sounds like a fun Friday afternoon, but nobody is suggesting Guido is a potential PM-in-waiting.


To be fair, when asked on television recently when it was he last had a drink Kennedy avoided answering the question. Guido knows that he has been the worse for wear as recently as June. A trusted co-conspirator was surprised to see Kennedy coming in the office door in Portcullis House in late June, when he appeared to be the worse for drink and confused about which door led to his office. This was at four in the afternoon.

FSA Meeting Today September 28th

Guido understands that the FSA’s Directors meet today September 28th, Unity Trust Bank is low on the agenda. Off the record briefing line from the FSA is “everything is fine, don’t believe what you read on the internet.”

FSA chairman Sir Callum McCarthy is no fool and is politically attuned having worked for both Roy Hattersly and Norman Tebbit in his time. He even proudly displays in his office a large picture of him and Blair grinning at each other. Nevertheless he will no doubt make sure somebody checks the numbers…

Previous stories.

Ben Back Blogging

Ben Brogan, the Daily Mail political editor is new to blogging and the Press Gazette has noticed [Gone fishin’? Certainly not gone bloggin’]

Ben Brogan, political editor of the Daily Mail, hasn’t quite got the hang of the latest craze at Westminster for setting up your own blog.

The best political bloggers — such as wannabe Tory MP Iain Dale and the mischievous Guido Fawkes — have updated their sites daily, even hourly, throughout the summer.

But Brogan is now finally back blogging after a month-long hiatus after last posting on 26 July. Curiously, he chose his last entry before his long break to write about MPs’ lengthy 76-day holiday in a piece entitled Gone Fishin’.

Perhaps Brogan should take a leaf out of Sky News political editor Adam Boulton’s book. He takes his blog so seriously that he was even updating it from his paradise island honeymoon with Tony Blair’s exgatekeeper Anji Hunter.

Harder than you thought Ben? When you leave the blog it dies, that is why you have no traffic or comments…

Bloggers like Iain and Greenwhich.watch have scored a bullseye during silly season with the ongoing AEG/Dome/Prescott sleaze. Iain recently rather sniffily remarked to Guido “I see you are so short of gossip you have resorted to doing politics…”

Sir Alfred Sherman R.I.P.

A young Guido was a friend of Gideon Sherman, as a result Guido would often be around the Sherman house. His father Sir Alfred always rendered Guido tongue-tied, he was right on so many issues and spectacularly wrong on others. He was great fun to hear when he was going full throttle.

After doing an economic analysis of British Rail Sherman concluded that the best thing to do would be to tarmac over the railways and turn them into private autobahns. Mrs Thatcher found it a teensy bit too radical. Unacceptable politically, but practical and right because it would have saved billions in subsidies. Guido has never understood how heavy energy inefficient heavy trains are more green than modern buses.

A Soiled Story

Wonder if Hurst’s biography of Charlie Kennedy now being serialised in the Times will tell the tale of the time Charlie was discovered passed out one morning in his office. This was not a rare event, but on this particular occasion there was a terrible smell in the room besides the alcohol fumes. Charlie had shat himself.

Cherie’s Very Much Unwanted Cast-Offs

News reached Guido that Cherie’s unwanted cast-off outfit failed to attract any bids on ebay despite the signed photo thrown in. Remarking to Mrs Fawkes that she might have been a buyer (it being dark lawyers clothing) she responded aggressively:
“Are you saying my bum is big?”

Levy is in London

A Guido co-conspirator emails to tell that on Wednesday he passed Lord Levy in London near King’s Cross on his way to his fire damaged Marylebone Street office saying into his mobile “I know! When I saw it, I said ‘What the fuck is that?'”

Cowboy’s Son Cause Problems for Geronimo

Geronimo specialises in working for public sector clients. Our knowledge and understanding of this sector is current, sophisticated and undiluted. We appreciate that the sector must display openness, transparency, accountability and evaluation, and we ensure we work in this way.

David Prescott admits he got a Commons pass to do ‘media monitoring’ work for his father during the three weeks Prezza was supposed to be running the country. He says he handed back the pass to Commons officials last Thursday. David says “I took time off from work to assist John Prescott in monitoring the media.” The whole family are liars. The DPM has press officers and SpAds with nothing better to do than play croquet. It stinks, since David Prescott is a spin-merchant for a public sector specialist lobbying firm that has grown fat on the backs of taxpayers. Lobbyists are the last people who should be given commons passes.

Hat-tip : Mail on Sunday

Euan Out of Hospital, Back to Normal

Get Your Sleazy Sweepstake Gamecards Ready

Guido hears that “friends” of Ruth Turner are claiming “it wasn’t me guv”. Wouldn’t it be fun if the PM has to do the perp walk. Downing Street is determined that the police should just drop by for a cup of tea and biscuit accompanied by the full Blair charm. The police think a statement under caution more appropiate in the circumstances. Don’t forget who did the negotiating directly with Lord Drayson…
If you have not already got one, email Guido for a PDF file to print out, then cut out and play Sleazy Sweepstakes in your office (Peerages not included.)

Unity Trust Bank Scandal “Loans for Favours”

George Trefgarne on the City pages of the Daily Mail is on the trail of the UTB scandal. [Not online]. He draws attention to the fact that 12 out of 17 directors have resigned in the last two years. Hardly evidence of good corporate governance.The article refers to the £6 million sale of the Labour HQ to help repay £2m to UTB due at the end of last month. Guido understands that there was, after paying off the mortgage to the Co-Op Bank, only £500,000 or so in equity left over. Not even enough to meet this month’s wage bill. Guido suspects that the loan was rolled over on UTB’s books. That the Labour party is making 1 in 5 employees redundant tells you all you need to know. Guido can confirm that UTB has been obliged to report to the FSA monthly as to the status of the Labour party loan.

The Warwick agreement should not be part of the bank’s qualifying credit criteria considered by the UTB’s Risk Review committee. UTB’s board, politically connected as it is, is largely inexperienced in the ways of banking. “Loans for favours” to the unions are the only reason why this union-controlled bank has risked lending so much to the financially troubled Labour party – when no commercial bank would do. Neither the Labour party nor Unity Trust Bank will comment.

Euan is Unwell

What kind of drunken example is he setting? Hospital is for sissys.

Bored with Guido’s Traffic Boasting?

All that “look, Guido is the #1 blog” stuff has now been sub-contracted to an advertising agency. For the many of you will miss those monthly boasts about Guido’s exponential traffic growth, bookmark www.MessageSpace.co.uk/blog.

They also have a whirling website saying who else they represent: www.MessageSpace.co.uk.

The adverts will start running next month…

No Comment

Nobody has been available in the press office for two days. Guido knows it is a union bank so they must have done all their 35 hours Monday to Wednesday. Did manage to speak to Paul Woodcock. Don’t know what he does, he wouldn’t say.

GF I’d like to speak to someone about your large exposures reporting to the FSA.
PW We can’t comment on customer’s borrowing.
GF I don’t want to discuss individual customers.
PW We can’t comment on customer’s borrowing.
GF Yes, so you said.
PW We can’t comment on customer’s borrowing.
GF Your tape is jammed.
PW I’m sorry.
GF What is your job title?
PW We can’t comment on customer’s borrowing.
GF OK, can you tell me your job title?
PW I can’t comment.
GF How do I know you are not some Friday afternoon drunk receptionist?
PW I can’t comment.

Welcome Back Tony

Guido has missed you.

Unity Trust Bank – “FSA Monitoring the Situation”

Officially the FSA is making no comment. Unofficially they are watching the situation closely. The FSA rules require that banks make a Large Exposures Policy Statement:

“The policy in the statement must be such that it covers how the bank controls its exposures to ensure compliance with its large exposure limits, and the reporting to the FSA of its large exposures.”

Guido wonders how UTB’s policy statement must read.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

“We have no plans to write off existing student debt.”

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