Guido can’t be arsed to gatecrash the farce that is the PMOS’ Lobby briefing today. Could one of the fearless pack ask the questions we really want answered….

Why didn’t Cherie attend? Is it true she can’t stand Anji? Did Tony stay for the disco? Did the disco play Simply Red because Mick Hucknall was there? Did the DJ think “Money’s Too Tight (To Mention)” would be an amusing choice? Doesn’t Mick Hucknall play tennis with his mates? Has Hucknall ever played against Lord Levy? Enquiring minds want to know.

Guido wishes the happy couple well.