Summer Party Totty Report

Guido sent a co-conspirator to report on Dave’s Summer Party:

At Cameron’s £400 a ticket summer party and dinner on Monday night, black tie was banned and guests were asked to dress with the Riviera theme in mind. The average age was mid-thirties, much younger than Tory events of past, with many of the richer Tory donors bringing younger friends.

There were quite a number of obviously gay couples, relaxed in the knowledge that the old-style Tebbitism is no more.

As dinner started, scantily clad women in bikinis (who had been paid) wandered around the marquee in time with music, and there were a couple of men too, one in bermuda shorts and the other in a towel. Alan Duncan was chatting to lots of young men. David Cameron’s speech emphasised the need for the party to change. He mentioned that he does get some hate mail about this. One letter last week, he recalled, said that he if cared so much about global warming and hot air, why doesn’t he tape up his mouth. He kissed the two beautiful girls who had organised the event. At the end of the evening, there was a disco – the most popular song was It’s Raining Men. Michael Spencer, in the auction, spent £14,000 on a day’s shooting. A silent auction aided by electronic smart card readers (every guest had been issued with a smart card) saw over £300 spent on an internship at The Ecologist.

There were, according to another co-conspirator, some complaints in the ladies lavs about the lack of single, heterosexual men. So many gorgeous girls, so few worthy men. Now Guido feels guilty about missing the party.

It was so nice that Petronella Wyatt and Boris Johnson could both make the party.

Oh to have been a canape when they met…




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Jeremy Corbyn on Big Ben Bong Ban

“… if we have to miss Big Ben in reality for a while so that work can be done, well, that’s something we have to go through. It’s not a national disaster or catastrophe.”

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