Guido was not answering his phone(s) and left his Blackberry behind to hit the beach – no extraordinary rendition was involved. To all the journalists who left messages – thanks for the concern. Yes, Guido will stand by the story. No, no writs have even been threatened. Wonder why?

Prezza’s spokesman taking the spin-line that he wouldn’t “dignify the allegations with a response” is wise. Prezza is in the words of Trevor Kavanagh “a serial adulterer”, we have three confirmed mistresses, we have two widely known other names floating around the Westminster village which journalists have so far been too coy to print.

Incidentally, since a woman’s honour is at stake, can Guido just clarify that the China Girl did not do a Tracey for Prezza. Guido understands that she adroitly rebuffed him, made her disdain of his sleazy innuendo known to senior mandarins and as a consequence got, willingly, on the slow boat to China to a dream job.

As for the Standard’s front-page today, Guido is not a Tory activist. Being neither ideologically Tory or temperamentally inclined towards activism. When they said Guido was “in his thirties”, if they meant four hundred and thirties they were right…