Cameron Knife Attack on Westwood

In a response to a question about knife crime, Dave told June Walton, the deputy editor of Good Housekeeping (Guido never misses an edition) “I would say to Radio 1, do you realise that some of the stuff you play on Saturday nights encourages people to carry guns and knives?”

Cameron was speaking to the British Society of Magazine Editors and referring to the DJ Tim Westwood. Westwood is a white, midle aged, multi-millionaire DJ who affects a Brixton black accent to get down wiv da kidz. The BBC bosses who overpay him do not realise he is (a) white and (b) without any street cred whatsoever. He was once shot and seriously wounded in a club, police were thwarted in their investigation when 63 music critics claimed responsibility. He plays gangsta rap / hip hop cop-killer tunes at the expense of the license fee taxpayers. Guido would enjoy stabbing him in a frenzied attack* whilst listening to ‘The Ride of the Valkyries’ on his iPod.

*In need of more coffee this morning obviously.




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Boris Johnson was shown a trophy monkey head as he toured a room of illegally-poached animals seized by Scotland Yard. He said:

“What’s this poor chap here? Faint air of a … Labour backbencher.”

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