Nigel Evans, All-Party Groupie

With recess upon us MPs can jaunt off on a foreign freebie courtesy of some obscure All-Party Group. The travel is one of the great side benefits of being a member of parliament and MPs do manage to turn up in very strange places. Some years back Guido was in Angola with anti-Marxist freedom fighters during that country’s bloody civil war. Deep in the bush back from the frontline with my AK-47 carrying friends we met up with another unit of rebels who had, much to my surprise, two posh English MPs with them dressed in full safari outfits. It was a bit like something out of White Mischief, but at least they had some whisky.

So who is the King / Queen of All Party Groups currently? It looks like Nigel Evans could lay claim to that title:

All-Party Parliamentary Ukraine Group – Secretary
All-Party Parliamentary Malaysia Group – Chair
All-Party Parliamentary Group on Identity Fraud – Chair
All-Party Parliamentary Export Group – Chair
All-Party Parliamentary Group on Advertising – Vice Chair
UK-Egypt All-Party Parliamentary Group – Vice Chair
UK-Bahrain All-Party Parliamentary Group –
All-Party Parliamentary Botswana Group – Vice Chair
Associate Parliamentary Manufacturing Industry Group – Vice Chr
All-Party Parliamentary Leisure Group – Vice Chair
All-Party British-Turkish Parliamentary Group – Secretary
All-Party Parliamentary Group for Small Shops – Vice Chair
Occupational Safety and Health All-Party Parliamentary Group – Secretary
Parliamentary Space Committee – Treasurer
All-Party British-North Korea Parliamentary Group – Secretary
All-Party Parliamentary Sports Group – Vice Chair
All-Party Parliamentary Channel Islands Group – Treasurer
All-Party Parliamentary British-Qatar Group – Treasurer
All-Party Parliamentary Theatre Group – Vice Chair
All-Party Parliamentary Music Group – Vice Chair
All-Party Parliamentary Group on Nigeria – Vice Chair
All-Party Parliamentary Historic Vehicles Group – Treasurer
All-Party Parliamentary Beer Group – Vice Chair
British Council Associate Parliamentary Group – Vice Chair
All-Party Parliamentary Vietnam Group – Joint Secretary
All-Party Parliamentary Group on Cuba – Vice Chair
All-Party Parliamentary Drugs Misuse Group – Vice-Chairs
Indo-British All-Party Parliamentary Group – Membership Secretary
All-Party Parliamentary Retail Industry Group – Vice-Chairs
Associate Parliamentary Group on Serbia and Montenegro – Vice chair

That is a hell of a lot of committee meetings to attend as an executive officer. On top of that he is an ordinary member of 69 (at the last count) other All-Party Groups. How he finds the time to attend them all, particularly when he has to fly off on so many resultant overseas freebies, is baffling. The list of junkets he has been on goes on for pages (he is not shy of freebie upgrades either). Guido can’t help but feel that he is putting himself about a bit too much for the voters of the Ribble Valley.

Most surprising to Guido was the declared complimentary membership of Stringfellows lapdancing club. Obviously Nigel will be supporting Guido’s Campaign for Sir Peter Stringfellow.



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