In the brave new world that is Cameron’s Conservative Campaign HQ (no longer called Central Office, too Stalinist, not dynamic enough), the boys and girls had to re-apply for their own job or wait to apply for a new one to get a CCHQ contract. They are all equal now.

Not however if you are a wonk in that febrile hothouse that is the Conservative Research Department, they apparently just get appointed with an old fashioned nod from the Chairman Maode. No-one knows there is a position and then suddenly there is an announcement. Little chance of them getting another Investors in People blue plastic triangle to hang on the CCHQ wall as mentioned in the glossy brochure from last year.

Also the position of Head of Candidates is up for grabs. This is a hotseat, charged with the implementation of the controversial A-list, the most objected to policy of the new regime. Tory gatherings are now torturous for white male pinstriped types paralysed with fear and half naked without their ties. If you fancy the job the closing date is 24 March, so quickly send your CV to jmaclaren@conservatives.com.

Jane values “diversity and welcome applications from all sections of the community.” You do still have to support the Conservatives though.