Guido tries to avoid repeating newspaper diarist’s stories (if only they would do the same) but Pandora has a cracker about the new Anne Summers blow-up doll Mustafa Shag.

“The Manchester Central Mosque has already written to the firm, calling on it to withdraw the product… You have no idea how much hurt, anguish, and disgust this obnoxious phrase [“Mustafa Shag”] has caused to Muslim men, women and children,” reads their letter.”