Mrs Portillo Must Dread Sundays

The Mail on Sunday had an enigmatic story about Portillo. This follows the Sunday Mirror’s recent expose of a quickie fling with 31 year-old radio presenter and lingerie model Rachel Johnston (pictured).

It seems he is to be cited in a high society divorce as a result of a long running affair. The cuckolded husband has told hacks confidants he is disgusted at the behaviour of the Moral Maze panellist, whom he brands ‘a piece of shit’.

He is also furious with his wife, whom he accuses of wrecking their long-standing marriage. He believes she was so smitten with Mr Portillo she even had cosmetic surgery to enlarge her breasts because – in his words – “Portillo likes big breasts”.

“My wife is a social climber who has gone for somebody with a public profile and I want to nail that bloody bastard Portillo,” he told friends. He views Mr Portillo as a “hypocrite who smiled warm hellos to him at parties”.

Guido has had a restless night trying to remember who she is, this socialite with big fake breasts. She partied with Portillo in the moonlit shadow of the Temple of Venus in the Moroccan Roman ruins of Volubilis (Remember the place in 2001 where Portillo was filmed doing his disco daddy thing just before the Tory leadership battle that he lost?) Now who went on that famous trip?




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Quote of the Day

Former public schoolboy Chuka Umunna told the  ‘Exit From Brexit Dinner’…

“Remainians, Remoaners, I don’t care what the label is, I’m proud. It’s fashionable to label everyone in this room as the liberal metropolitan elite . . . This caricature is promoted by a bunch of former public schoolboys!” 

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