New Labour’s favourite copper, Sir Ian Blair, is useless. When not covering up for trigger happy extra-judicial executions of tube travellers, he spends his time enforcing politically correct policing. Detested by many of the ordinary boys in blue his career has been pulled upwards by the immense amount of suction power which he directs to his New Labour masters. Meanwhile in many parts of London people don’t bother reporting muggings or burglaries. Guido knows many Londoners who have been the victims of domestic burglary over the years, not one of whom has seen the police catch their burglar. Zero success. Yet, the crime figures paint a vista of increased tractor production police productivity.

The commissioner’s plan to harrass London’s party people is the obvious way to improve the crime figures, by creating and solving crimes on the spot. Operation Middle Market aims to entrap middle class cocaine users with police officers posing as coke dealers. That’s the spin he is putting out today. So there you are, sitting half pissed upstairs in the Groucho, a young man with short hair wanders over to you, “hello, hello, fancy some sniff?” Yes you reply, hoping it will jolt you out your alcoholic daze. You slip him £50. What crime have you committed? The copper has no cocaine, you have not bought any, the cop would be guilty of intent to supply if he had any cocaine. So what is the commissioner up to? It’s completely imaginary spin to get his gaffe about the Soham murders off the news pages. No one is being arrested in “middle class sting operations” because it would not work in court.

The commissioner knows that the broadsheets will lap up the story and it will move the news agenda on. A cynical Blairite media strategy. Beats catching burglars, eh?