With only Lembit left backing him, Oaten has been frantically trying to figure out a way to avoid humiliation. (As if personally calling activists begging them to nominate him was not humiliating enough.)

The emails going astray and finding their way to the Indy are a mere sideshow, (Guido suspects an over-enthusiastic Oaten ally is to blame). Exiting gracefully must now be the priority. Despite still not having received my membership card (get a move on Cowley Street), Guido is keen to volunteer his speechwriting services.

“Ladies and Gentleman, despite having received hundreds of emails and phone calls I have decided to withdraw my name from the leadership contest and in the interests of party unity, our country and my career give my support to

But will anyone actually want his support? His candidature has only succeeded in making him less popular than he was before he started.

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