Party Pimping

As I supped my sixth cosmopolitan at the Policy Exchange christmas party at Axis last night, Cameron ascended to the podium and a light shone out across the room, it illuminated dozens of very uncomfortable, tie-less men in suits. This was just not real, people admitted to Guido they were unsure about the dress code. Looking around, Matthew Parris smiled upon a coterie of young male admirers, Andrew Neil smiled upon a bevy of young females, a typical Tory wonk party was in flow. The room was representative; investment bankers, lawyers, spin merchants and political hacks constituted the majority. Maude was tieless, Alan Duncan was spritely, Osborne was black-tied and Michael Spencer was still un-knighted.

Words were spoken, of how Boles knew Cameron of old, how Cameron owed Boles and what he wanted for the Tories “..black, white, gay or straight…”, only the vegetable and mineral were excluded.

At this, the vortex of Tory modernisers, it nevertheless felt just the same, apart from uncomfortable men going tie-less (in grey suits) nothing has changed yet. Not because of Cameron or Boles, but because they were Tories, no proper party pimping can change that. This is the problem for the new Tory mission, all Labour has to do to scare the voters away is point a video camera at any Tory gathering, let the camera linger long and slowly on the attendees. They are just not normal. Until you look like real people you cannot expect to win the people over. [Some of the girls looked unrealistically good for a Monday night mind you, so there are definitely some pluses to the Tory unreality].




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Michael Crick on Safe Seats:

“In effect, new MPs are being elected day by day now, as, amid huge secrecy, small cabals of party bigwigs pick candidates for safe seats.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Leader of Anti-UKIP Protest Embroiled in SWP Rape Scandal Leader of Anti-UKIP Protest Embroiled in SWP Rape Scandal
Hollobone Agrees Tory-UKIP Pact Hollobone Agrees Tory-UKIP Pact
David Mackintosh Quits David Mackintosh Quits
Happy Ed Balls Day Happy Ed Balls Day
Campaign Report: 42 Days To Go Campaign Report: 42 Days To Go
Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special
Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go
Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch
Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward
‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party ‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party
More Selection Shenanigans More Selection Shenanigans
Bouattia Ousted Bouattia Ousted
David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron
Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll
Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today
Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter
Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier
Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now
Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down? Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down?
Banks Bottles It Banks Bottles It