Party Pimping

As I supped my sixth cosmopolitan at the Policy Exchange christmas party at Axis last night, Cameron ascended to the podium and a light shone out across the room, it illuminated dozens of very uncomfortable, tie-less men in suits. This was just not real, people admitted to Guido they were unsure about the dress code. Looking around, Matthew Parris smiled upon a coterie of young male admirers, Andrew Neil smiled upon a bevy of young females, a typical Tory wonk party was in flow. The room was representative; investment bankers, lawyers, spin merchants and political hacks constituted the majority. Maude was tieless, Alan Duncan was spritely, Osborne was black-tied and Michael Spencer was still un-knighted.

Words were spoken, of how Boles knew Cameron of old, how Cameron owed Boles and what he wanted for the Tories “, white, gay or straight…”, only the vegetable and mineral were excluded.

At this, the vortex of Tory modernisers, it nevertheless felt just the same, apart from uncomfortable men going tie-less (in grey suits) nothing has changed yet. Not because of Cameron or Boles, but because they were Tories, no proper party pimping can change that. This is the problem for the new Tory mission, all Labour has to do to scare the voters away is point a video camera at any Tory gathering, let the camera linger long and slowly on the attendees. They are just not normal. Until you look like real people you cannot expect to win the people over. [Some of the girls looked unrealistically good for a Monday night mind you, so there are definitely some pluses to the Tory unreality].

Tip offs: 0709 284 0531

Quote of the Day

Jeremy Corbyn told by veteran Jewish MP Margaret Hodge…

“You’re a f***ing anti-aemite and a racist”


Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Undead UKIP Poll Rise Terrifies Tories Undead UKIP Poll Rise Terrifies Tories
Marr’s May Monopoly Marr’s May Monopoly
CCHQ Begs Association Chairmen CCHQ Begs Association Chairmen
Poll: Voters 2 to 1 for No Deal Poll: Voters 2 to 1 for No Deal
Paul Mason Reported to Police Paul Mason Reported to Police
Etonian Free Cabinet Etonian Free Cabinet
Tory MP Puts Letter In to Brady Tory MP Puts Letter In to Brady
Lord Carrington Lord Carrington
Poll: May’s Deal or No Deal? Poll: May’s Deal or No Deal?
Labour’s Chequers Survival Kit Labour’s Chequers Survival Kit
Whips’ Patsies in Full Whips’ Patsies in Full