Tory-EPP Gravy Train To Be Axed

Sir Robert Atkins MEP, the Belgian native and Tory deputy – leader in the Euro-Parliament, has been heard muttering by a Guido operative that Cameron’s decision to leave the EPP will most likely result in a rebellion against the plan. They plan to tell Cameron there are other, more important fights for him to fight. Belgian Bob reckons its “wrong to appease Bill Cash”, he prefers instead to appease Jacques Chirac.

The Notting Hill crowd reckon this is a battle worth fighting – the Tory MEPs could form the future base of a pan-European Altanticist “New Europe”, free trade and free markets faction. But leaving the large EPP faction would involve the immediate loss of some privileges, perhaps fewer MEP family members on the payroll, maybe Belgian Bob would no longer be in charge of the European Committee on Stationery Control Technology.

Guido reckons the loss of Tory influence in the EPP would be welcome. The Tories always seem to be influenced in one direction – towards the inertia and corrupt ways of their fellow Euro-politicians. The European parliament seems like a vast international student union debating society funded by Europe’s taxpayers. Who knows, the Tories might even gain influence, with the horse-trading and compromises going in their direction for a change.




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Embattled Henry Bolton on his battles…

“I’m going nowhere. I have seen people die, I have seen people blown up, I have seen people shot. Even the Taliban doesn’t quite prepare you for UKIP, though.”

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