First question for the blessed Davids : Will you introduce the death penalty for hashish fiends, opium den runners and white slave traders?
DD : Yes, and more than that, a Davis government will bring back public flogging of petty thieves and stoning for adulterers.
Second question for the exulted Davids : Do you believe that sex outside marriage is wrong?
DD : Depends what you mean by wrong, its not a, err, hanging offence, but its inadvisable. A healthy marriage to a blonde, sorry errm, a brunette, is all a man needs.
Third question for the honourable Davids : Are test tube babies Satan’s spawn?
DD : We have to look at the errm evidence, but if errr scientists or satanists are making babies we have to make sure we have a framework to deal with them in a firm, but compassionate way.
Fourth question for esteemed Davids : Are you a prophet who can see into the future ten years hence?
DD : Certainly, and my tax policy is based on the clear ability to determine macro-economic variables a decade ahead. That is the difference, the err clear blue errr water, with respect, between young Cameron and me, substantive policy from me, substance abuse from him. But I don’t want to bring that up. Just let me mention, gratuitously, that I grew up on a council estate.
Fifth final fun question : Women in Burqas or Hijabs?
DD : Blondes with double-D tits for me.
This is Taliban Timmy wishing you all the blessings of the Tory-Taliban-Lite.
Pakol tip : Tim Montgomerie