The government’s education task force has told Guido’s co-religionist and Education minister, the Blessed Ruth Kelly, that teachers must be given explicit legal rights to punish pupils and to restrain unruly children by “reasonable force”. The Opus Dei numerary may want to suggest flagellation as an option, or even throwing grit in the corner and making errant pupils kneel on it to say the rosary. The pain in your knee caps is pointed, was always a favourite with my maths master.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!